Julio Baptista: The Beast is a Baby

If you think your life is a miserable wreck that is because it probably is. You’re reading this blog after all. Your life can’t get much worse, except of course if you change places with Arsenal’s Brazilian midfielder Julio Baptista. If there is a player less deserving of the nickname “The Beast” than Baptista I have yet to meet him.

It seems that The Beast, who is on loan to the Arsenal from Real Madrid, is unhappy with just about everything that has to do with life in England.

“The teams from the north of England are terrible,” said Baptista in The Times. “When we play them I have counted their centre-backs booting up to 30 long balls upfield per game.

“The weather over here is killing me. We’ll get one day of sunshine for every 30 days of rain, and it is driving me to despair. My girlfriend and my mother are frightened about not seeing the sun in England. They miss being in Madrid.

“Premiership football is very hard. I am Brazilian and I enjoy playing the ball, making clever touches and taking bicycle kicks. Arsene Wenger does not forbid me from doing them, but the game is so fast I don’t even have time to think about them.

“The moment you stop to think, someone has taken the ball off you and knocked you to the ground. Over here they value a corner kick more than a fancy flick. I am lucky to be with Arsenal, as they are a team that likes to play proper football.”

If you ignore the fact that my mate Chris in London reports that it has been bone dry there for a month and the fact that he wants to spend all his time taking bicycle kicks and that he called this year’s version of Arsenal a proper football team, you can almost be sympathetic towards a Beast who carries so many burdens.

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Category: English Premier League, World Football

Tags: Arsenal, English Premier League, Julio Baptista, Life is Miserable, World Football, World Soccer

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