Kaka Needs A Kid Leash

By: chris | August 12th, 2009

Kaka’s a pretty big deal. A really big deal, in fact. Somewhere in the top 25 most recognizable athletes in the world, or thereabouts (a listing which someone has probably compiled somewhere with zero evidence to back it up).

So you’d expect someone – Dunga, or even one of Florentino’s minions – would be keeping track of him at all times as though he were a toddler. Not so. Which is precisely how he was found wandering around the streets of Tallinn, Estonia entirely lost – as though he were a toddler.

The story writes itself, and one need only to sit down and picture angelic Ricky wandering around deserted streets with a puzzled look of terror on his face to enjoy it to its fullest.

Brazil’s Kaka got lost walking around Tallinn on Tuesday ahead of their friendly against Estonia and needed a police escort back to the team’s hotel, Brazilian media reported.

The Real Madrid midfielder took an early morning walk around the old town on his own and was spotted by two policemen in a patrol car who stopped to talk to him.

On learning Kaka had actually lost his way back to the hotel, the officers took him there in the patrol car, the press office of the city’s police department said.

There’s a joke in here about Ricky’s propensity for disappearing during league games, but it’s evading at the moment.

Now, this is almost refreshing. Given that Kaka is one of the highest paid footballers in the world, you’d think he’d have a spankin’ new phone with global GPS and all sorts of futuristic crap no one really needs but buys anyway. And yet with money to burn he seemingly doesn’t, meaning Ricky relies on his keen sense of non-Estonian direction. Glory be.

But still, if someone comes up with the right joke, he’ll never live this down.

* – How cruel is that “baby harness”? The kid thinks he’s getting a monkey backpack when it reality he’s one step away from being a golden retriever.

Now if someone could photoshop Kaka’s head onto that kid’s body that’d be fabulous.