LA Galaxy to have hooligan-trained SWAT team on standby for Beckham matches

It is a story that many a right-wing commentator can tell so well. Immigrants move into a neighborhood in the United States and within a matter of days the place that used to be a tranquil paradise with nary a problem is transformed into a crime ridden mess where no right minded person would ever want to step foot. The immigrant in this case is David Beckham and the beautiful neighborhood soon to be a dangerous hellhole is the Home Depot Center where the LA Galaxy play their home games.

According to the British tabloid Daily Star, the LA police are preparing for the worst when Beckham arrives in July. A special team of Special Weapons And Tactics (SWAT) will be on standby during Galaxy cases in case the thousands of ex-pat English fans who are expected to attend the games decide to get their hooligan on.

The police officer said: “Given Beckham mania here, we could have an explosive situation on our hands. We hope to stand down the unit if there are no problems but it is better to be safe than sorry.”

And the LAPD officer added: “Some areas in Carson have significant numbers of gang members and so-called English hooligans might want to square up to them too.

“But they should be warned that, like us, those guys carry guns.

“Anyone who comes here with the intent to cause trouble could find themselves in the gravest possible situation.”

Gee, thanks for the warning about the guns.

This is the funniest article I’ve read in a long time. If you have ever attended an MLS game or watched one on television you know that the greatest threat of hooliganism comes from fans like me who want to smack around the 10-year-old girls who sit behind us blowing horns the entire 90 minutes. With the exception of some passionate supporters sections, the vast majority of MLS fans are families and the vast majority do not travel to away matches. You can bet that the family element will dominate games at the Home Depot Center.

The article also implies that Americans view all English fans as being hooligans and that American sports never have any fan violence even though the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles, for example, have set up a court in their own stadium to book fans who are arrested for getting into fights at their games. Last time I checked Beckham didn’t play for the Eagles.

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Category: MLS, World Football