Manchester United Celebrate with Booze and Boobs. You don’t say!

Now that the race for the top spot in the English Premier League is over, the only real excitement left is the post-celebration party news garnishing the tabloids. Well, that and the relegation battle and UEFA Cup jockeying, but in the interest of interest we’ll stick with the tabloid tales for now.

It might be difficult for you to imagine but following their coronation as kings of the league, the Manchester United players had themselves a little party. It might be equally surprising that this party involved alcohol. I know, footballers going out and drinking. It does require you to stretch your imagination.

The Sun, which must keep its reporters stationed at bars throughout England at all times, reports that the Red Devils ran up a bar tab of £8,500 at The Living Room bar in Manchester. £8,500 on booze? That is it? I call that Wednesday.

The Mirror breaks the equally shocking news that the players actually mingled with fans and that some of those fans were selected for a little private party. Do you think that those fans that were selected had breasts? If you answered yes than you win the prize. The prize being the knowledge that the players partied for nine hours and that the fun ended at 4:30am. When exactly is closing time in Manchester?

Both papers also report that Cristiano Ronaldo was partying it up, but whether that included drinking bubbly is unclear. CR7 has no vices, or so says his mother who fails to mention her son’s inexplicable love of man purses.

Lest you think that all of this is the silliest news you have read today, FIFA head honcho Sepp Blatter comes to the rescue by calling on Manchester United to re-think their summer plans in Asia because giving football fans what they want to see is something FIFA would never want to do. Nothing will help football grow more than forcing fans to watch Indonesia play Malaysia. Brilliant.

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Category: English Premier League, World Football