Michael Owen Brochure Now Available For Everyone to Read

By: Daryl | June 22nd, 2009

This was always going to happen. The infamous 32 page Michael Owen brochure is now available for everyone to read in all its silliness over at the Daily Mail website.


You don’t need me to tell you that this is pretty embarrassing for a player of Michael Owen’s fame. To read about a player in bad sales language (”Michael will shortly be out of contract and may consider a move away from St James’ Park”) like he was a timeshare is depressing. And the Dr. Nick style medical opinions (”In my opinion he will play at the highest level for many years – trouble free!”) are the opposite of reassuring.

But the correct response here should probably be pity rather than laughter. Owen was (and maybe is) a player of genuine talent. If he’s fit, he’ll score goals. For anyone. That should (and would) have been enough for someone to take a gamble on him this summer (especially if he was willing to take a respectable pay cut).

The huge horrible irony here is that the brochure designed to sell Michael Owen has actually managed to devalue him.



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Comments  

  • James |  June 22nd, 2009 at 9:26 am

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    That’s gotta be embarrassing. This seems like a great opportunity for a lower or mid-table club to buy him though.

    Posted from United States United States

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  • Ken |  June 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am

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    Maybe he should move to the MLS like Beckham did… he would be incredible

    Posted from United States

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  • Corbin |  June 22nd, 2009 at 11:06 am

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    are the helicopter rides to training included anywhere in the brochure?

    Posted from United States United States

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  • Toby |  June 22nd, 2009 at 11:26 am

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    That’s kind of sad isn’t it? It’s got a touch of Rocky Balboa/The Wrestler about it hasn’t it? A former great reduced to whoring himself around to the highest bidder, shit, at this rate we might even see him in a Wolves shirt.

    Posted from United Kingdom United Kingdom

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  • Paul (No1Fan) |  June 22nd, 2009 at 11:53 am

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    Will this lead to lesser players trying to flog themselves to the highest bidder! maybe taking ads out in the local papers or handing out flyers to visiting management.

    Posted from United Kingdom United Kingdom

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  • Laurie |  June 22nd, 2009 at 12:06 pm

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    Maybe he should move to the MLS like Beckham did… he would be incredible

    Oh, Ken, if only that were true. MLS would break him in two in about thirty seconds.

    Posted from United States

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  • Laurie |  June 22nd, 2009 at 12:07 pm

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    P.S. Daryl, your comparisons to timeshares and Dr. Nick made me giggle out loud. :-D

    Posted from United States

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  • Mohamed S. |  June 22nd, 2009 at 3:25 pm

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    If I was a club manager interested in buying him I’d pull out right away just so I won’t be included in this embarrassment.

    Posted from Saudi Arabia Saudi Arabia

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  • Ebrahim |  June 23rd, 2009 at 6:17 am

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    In my opinion, we’re doing exactly what the brochure wants us NOT to do – and that is to believe the media speculation regarding his fitness, drive to succeed etc. Just because no footballer has done this kinda thing in the past, doesn’t mean we should mock it.

    After all, people do secretly believe that he has been unlucky with injuries and was in a ridiculous club, so all this brochure has done is make it black and white (no pun intended) for potential buyers that might be naive enough to believe media crap.

    Posted from United Kingdom United Kingdom

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  • b-52 |  June 23rd, 2009 at 7:31 am

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    Newcastle do not come across well in this brochure. Making him “complete” the beep test after recovering from a virus… wow…

    Posted from United States United States

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  • fg |  June 23rd, 2009 at 3:16 pm

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    haha one of his “brand values” on the picture is “cool”. maybe to appeal to all the 8 year old football managers?

    Posted from United States United States

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  • Applesauce |  June 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm

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    This guy used to be one of my favs to watch. Sort of sad.

    Posted from United States

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  • Dan |  July 6th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

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    Should have listed himself on EBAY, cheaper than paying them idiots in ‘new’ media!

    Posted from United Kingdom United Kingdom

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