Michael Owen Brochure Now Available For Everyone to Read

By: Daryl | June 22nd, 2009

This was always going to happen. The infamous 32 page Michael Owen brochure is now available for everyone to read in all its silliness over at the Daily Mail website.

You don’t need me to tell you that this is pretty embarrassing for a player of Michael Owen’s fame. To read about a player in bad sales language (”Michael will shortly be out of contract and may consider a move away from St James’ Park”) like he was a timeshare is depressing. And the Dr. Nick style medical opinions (”In my opinion he will play at the highest level for many years – trouble free!”) are the opposite of reassuring.

But the correct response here should probably be pity rather than laughter. Owen was (and maybe is) a player of genuine talent. If he’s fit, he’ll score goals. For anyone. That should (and would) have been enough for someone to take a gamble on him this summer (especially if he was willing to take a respectable pay cut).

The huge horrible irony here is that the brochure designed to sell Michael Owen has actually managed to devalue him.

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Category: World Football

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Dan

Should have listed himself on EBAY, cheaper than paying them idiots in 'new' media!
Applesauce

This guy used to be one of my favs to watch. Sort of sad.
fg

haha one of his "brand values" on the picture is "cool". maybe to appeal to all the 8 year old football managers?
b-52

Newcastle do not come across well in this brochure. Making him "complete" the beep test after recovering from a virus... wow...
Ebrahim

In my opinion, we're doing exactly what the brochure wants us NOT to do - and that is to believe the media speculation regarding his fitness, drive to succeed etc. Just because no footballer has done this kinda thing in the past, doesn't mean we should mock it.

After all, people do secretly believe that he has been unlucky with injuries and was in a ridiculous club, so all this brochure has done is make it black and white (no pun intended) for potential buyers that might be naive enough to believe media crap.
Mohamed S.

If I was a club manager interested in buying him I'd pull out right away just so I won't be included in this embarrassment.
Laurie

P.S. Daryl, your comparisons to timeshares and Dr. Nick made me giggle out loud. :-D
Laurie

Maybe he should move to the MLS like Beckham did… he would be incredible

Oh, Ken, if only that were true. MLS would break him in two in about thirty seconds.
Paul (No1Fan)

Will this lead to lesser players trying to flog themselves to the highest bidder! maybe taking ads out in the local papers or handing out flyers to visiting management.
Corbin

are the helicopter rides to training included anywhere in the brochure?
Ken

Maybe he should move to the MLS like Beckham did... he would be incredible
James

That's gotta be embarrassing. This seems like a great opportunity for a lower or mid-table club to buy him though.