(Now the irony is killing me again–I’m a hypocrite too now, for the way I accused the French of being hypocrites. I’m going to withdraw from this debate while I’m still alive….)

Point 1: What’s so racist about holding your nose? “Give me breathing room” or “you stink”, whichever it was, how is it so inherently racist? If it had been a white guy who was crowding him, this whole incident would have passed with little more than a dirty look from the “stinky” guy and a raised eyebrow from the referee.

Point 2: Frankly, I think it is M’Bia who is behaving disgracefully here, much more so than Milan. M’Bia is the one making all these dramatic pronouncements about how “deeply hurt and offended” he is and how he “will never forgive” Baros, of course immediately playing the race card and fishing for sympathy everywhere with his persecuted-victim act. And then, right on schedule, the circus begins: politicians and pundits frantically trying to display how oh-so-”racially sensitive” they are by scrambling to be the first (or just the loudest) to call for Milan’s head on a platter, tearfully, mawkishly proclaiming solidarity with poor, victimized M’Bia, etc. Come on M’Bia, grow up. A guy made a rude signal at you during a football match, big deal. Grow up, get over it, stop whining.

Point 3: Why is everyone ignoring the fact that Milan has been saying all week that he meant nothing racist whatsoever? He’s insisted, in very clear terms, that he is not a racist, has never said anything racist to anyone in his life, and the idea of making a racist taunt hadn’t even crossed his mind at the time. Is everyone just calling him a liar, or what?

Point 4: Does anyone else think it’s ironic that this whole flap is taking place in France, which is quite possibly the most racist country in Europe right now? Sure the Czech Republic and central Europe in general has problems with that kind of stuff too, but it’s like nothing compared with the mess France has been for as long as I can remember.

Which leads me to point 5: In my humble opinion, the most interesting (and maddening) thing about this absurdist farce is the way it illustrates the West’s persistent, unacknowledged bias against Eastern and Central Europeans. Now, before you dismiss this as a loopy conspiracy theory, I have roots in Central Europe and I know firsthand the image most people have about those places and people. In my own experience, as well as that of others I know, a lot of people in the West still think of Czechs, Poles, Hungarians etc. as a bunch of dirty, drunken, half-literate Gypsy-beaters and ultra-xenophobic, provincial racists. It’s so EASY to accuse a Czech of “racism”, isn’t it? Come on, be brutally honest, how many of you didn’t have even the slightest little involuntary flicker of recognition of that stereotype when you first heard about this story? “Oh, those Czechs, when will they get with the modern world.” “Tsk-tsk–well, he’s Eastern European, I’m not surprised…” Honestly. Come on. The eastern half of the continent has been the western half’s whipping boy, scapegoat, punching bag and butt of every joke since the middle ages, I guess it was premature to expect it to change now.

Really, the unbelievable crashing irony of this is making my head spin. In notoriously racist France (usually virulently anti-black themselves, I might point out), people are now getting all worked up into a frenzy of self-righteous fury to burn a falsely accused footballer at the stake. Meanwhile of course, while they’re making a grand show of condemning racist prejudice directed against blacks, they are (indirectly) perpetuating racist prejudice against Eastern Europeans! These self-same French who make nary a sound when their OWN people spout all manner of vile, authentically racist and anti-immigrant filth on a regular basis (look at Sarkozy, for crying out loud!) are now whining and wailing like babies, their delicate civilized sensibilities offended, because some Czech guy made a thoughtless rude gesture at a black guy during a football match. If you’ll pardon the expression, I can *smell* the hypocrisy all the way over here in the US.

The LFP has already decided they will examine the incident, and judging by all the pressure they’ll be under, not just from Rennes but from all other French clubs, I think Baros will be slapped with a fine and a suspension.

Welcome to France, Milan.

Sigh.

I’m not seeing this as racist either. Isn’t the need of sweaty footballers for antiperspirant pretty much equal opportunity across all races?

(And “Give me breathing space”? Geez, even I could have come up with a better lie than that one.)