MLS Week 26 Review: Transmit Tim Lovejoy Across the Atlantic Ocean

Not so long ago, I had a good old rant about how MLS needs a decent highlights show to make it more accessible. Turns out that something similar already exists. Not exactly a highlights show, but an entertaining show themed around all things MLS. With some highlights. Only problem is that it’s not being broadcast in the USA.

David Beckham’s Soccer USA is a show that exists in America, but it’s presented by Natalie Pinkham on Fox Soccer Channel. She basically goes to various MLS grounds and does PR style interviews. And it’s predictably dull. In the UK, the show is presented by “Chorley Wood’s top light entertainer” Tim Lovejoy, of Soccer AM fame.

He’s basically taken the Soccer AM format (deliberately cheap running gags) and applied it to MLS. And it fits perfectly, possibly because MLS takes itself way too seriously and is in desperate need of some cheap gags. Why have a team called the Kansas City Wizards if you can’t laugh about it? But it’s not like Lovejoy is laughing at MLS or demeaning the league in the way certain English journalists were around the time of Beckham signing for Galaxy. It’s just enjoying it. For every failed Collin Samuel back heel, there’s a Chris Rolfe rocket or a celebration of skills from Denilson and Blanco. It’s doing what you’re supposed to do with football and just enjoying it, as opposed to marketing it out of all recognition.

I’m guessing the reason the show is so very different on either side of the Atlantic is that the UK version also serves to introduce UK viewers to MLS. There’s no pressure to take the league too seriously, because it can never seriously hope to steal the Premiership’s limelight. Fair enough. But there are plenty of Americans, and even plenty of American soccer fans, who could do with a friendly introduction to MLS. And despite any cultural differences, Tim Lovejoy could be just the man for the job.

There’s the rest of this 30 minute episode in the from of two more YouTube videos here. What do American viewers think? Would this show fly in America? Is MLS ready to laugh at itself? Is MLS ready to laugh at anything?

While you ponder that, here are The Offside MLS Awards…

Most Creative Assist in the History of Forever: Christian Gomez
During their 4-1 win over Toronto, DC had a free kick from about 25 yards out. The ultracreative Christian Gomez floated the ball over the TFC wall, off the crossbar and onto Fred’s Luciano Emilio’s left foot, allowing the Brazilian to smash a volley home. OK, he probably didn’t mean it as an assist. But that’s how it goes down in the record books.

Most Frustrating Sight in MLS: Jozey Altidore on the bench
I know he’s coming back from a thigh injury and I know Francis Doe is playing pretty well (including a nice goal this week.) But the thought of the most exciting young player in MLS sitting on the bench throughout NYRB’s 2-2 draw with Real Salt Lake and not getting a run out made me mad.

Most Annoying Man in Texas:Carlos Ruiz
If you watch the highlights of Houston’s 3-0 win over Dallas in a hard-fought Texas derby, most of it is Carlos Ruiz arguing with people. Right at the end of the game he kneed Ricardo Clark in the back before the two hit the deck, to which Clark retaliated by kicking Ruiz hard in the ribs. Not cool. But equally not cool is that Ruiz acted as though he’d been kicked in the face and put on a bit of impromptu theater, possible a one man show entitled “I’ve definitely been kicked in the face, and not the ribs.” Clark was sent off of course, because you can’t kick people, not even in the ribs. A fact which makes Ruiz playacting even more ridiculous because it was so unnecessary. Ruiz was also sent off, I think for the original knee in the back. See the whole debacle here.

Second Most Annoying Man in Texas: Whoever the commentator was in the above game
I understand that it’s a legal requirement for all Spanish language commentators to do the “Goooooooooooooool!” thing, and it’s normally fine, if a little forced. But whoever the guy is doing the commentary in Houston puts his own unique spin on it that made me want to pull my own ears off and throw them at him, because it’s so rehearsed, repetitive and pointless. As far as I’m concerned he’s the Spanish language equivalent of Dave O’Brien. If anyone out there can tell me who it is doing the commentary, please share that information so I can avoid him in future.

Best Free Kick: Cuauhtémoc Blanco
Blanco hit a sweet free kick at the Home Depot Center to give Chicago the lead over Chivas, but Chivas eventually levelled with a Claudio Saurez penalty. Like his penalties, the best thing about Blanco’s free kick was the spectacle of his gigantic run up, which seemed to start in the parking lot. That’s four straight ties for Chicago, but amazingly they’re still holding onto that eighth and final playoff spot.

Tom Cruise Award for Attempting Mission Impossible Los Angeles Galaxy
Galaxy’s playoff hopes looked dead and buried a few weeks back. Now with two wins out of two this week and three wins in a row they just look buried, but not dead. But even if they don’t make it, their day late, dollar short playoff run is doing all kinds of damage to plenty of other team’s chances. Kansas almost have a playoff spot, but didn’t get any closer to making that a certainly when Galaxy beat them 1-0 on Thursday night. And while Columbus Crew’s fellow competitors for what looks like the likely eighth and final playoff spot dropped two and three points respectively (Chicago drawing 1-1 with Chivas and the Colorado Rapids losing 1-0 at New England) they failed to take advantage because Galaxy came to Columbus and beat them 2-1.

The playoff situation now looks like this… (Before we do this, what’s going on with the MLS website. They’re always slow updating the standings on Sunday evenings so I have to check out other, more professionally run websites (like SI.com, or the blogosphere) for up to date MLS standings. I know it’s Sunday night but you’d think MLS would be able to get someone to sort it out.) Anyway, that playoff race…

In:
DC United: Played 27, 53 points
New Eng: 27, 49pts
Chivas: 26, 48
Houston: 26, 45

Nearly there:
FC Dallas: 26, 40
New York: 27, 39

Also nearly there, but less so every week:
Kansas City: 27, 36

Fighting over last place:
Chicago Fire: 27, 33
Columbus: 26, 31
Colorado: 27, 29
Galaxy: 26, 27

Highly unlikely. Maybe mathematically possible, but so highly unlikely let’s not waste our time figuring it out:
Real Salt Lake: 27, 24

Absolutely definitely not. Start thinking about 2008:
Toronto FC: 26, 21

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Category: MLS, World Football