Name To Remember: Neymar.

You know, it’s been far too long since Brazil produced a gem of an attacking phenom. Kaka? He was so 2007. Robinho? He had his moment in the sun with his giant move and incessant press coverage last September. Pato? Last month is over, ladies and gents. It’s about damn time.

So enter Neymar, “the new Robinho” – because “the real Robinho” is already so over at 25 years old. Basically what that means is came through the Santos youth ranks, he’s short (1.66m), exceptionally skilled on the ball with lightning acceleration, greedy, whiny and requires the use of 40+ condoms per trip to the discotheque.

Alright, those last few things may not be true, as Robinho – through Wikipedia – has weighed in on the subject:

And because this was sourced in Wikipedia it’s the gospel truth. Most definitely.

So he’s an unpricky Robinho, then. Sounds like a wonderful player. So wonderful he’s got The Artist Formerly Known As G14 slobbering over him like hormone-enraged teenagers. Real Madrid and Manchester United seem to have the early track on his signature which, if Santos’ demands are any indication, will require an insane amount of money – Pato cash – for a kid who turned 17 all of one month ago and made his professional debut, a half hour cameo, just this past weekend.

Now the only question remains whether or not Santos can hang onto him as they did with Robinho for three years, or if he’ll go the way of Pato and be rushed to Europe while still bathing in Clearasil.

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Category: World Football