Newcastle Goes Up For Sale; Continues To Torment Supporters.

After the mild surprise that Kaka cost quite a bit less than expected, we have the news of another footballing institution whose price has dropped. A lot. And that’s Newcastle United, a club which has been put up for sale by Mike Ashley much to the delight of NUFC supporters. Just not exactly by traditional means. A hearty push forward for the good ship progress? Maybe, maybe not.

Problem is, while most club negotiations are held in cloaked robes during midnight rendezvous in a distant unused cabin in the woods, to which the prospective buyers are driven by Jason Bourne whilst Steven Seagal watches the perimeter by making tea and threatening no one in particular in nonthreatening tones, Newcastle have done something entirely different. They’ve shrieked a “come and get me” plea on their website, flogging the club for a mere £100m – and then asked buyers to submit their interest via email.

Both Deloitte and Forbes have Newcastle in the Top 20 of their (unrespected) respective rankings: the former for revenue over a calendar year, the latter for overall value of the club. And in both cases, it leaves you wondering just where the hell all that money and club value has gone.

(Oh, right…Championship.)

But it has worked, as they’ve been inundated with offers. Just probably not of the substance they were hoping, with most of those offers coming from Sunderland fans offering roughly £10. (Wait another year – that might be just enough to begin negotiations.) It’s just one Mensa meeting after another at St. James Park, isn’t it?

And Newcastle supporters thought it couldn’t get any worse than relegation to the Coke. Now the question becomes: how can Mike Ashley top this? We understand if you’re afraid to answer.

[The Spoiler]

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Category: England, World Football