Nicklas Bentdner Gets A Heavenly Helping Hand

Nicklas Bendtner and his car had an oopsie earlier this week, from which he emerged without serious injury, but still wearing his goddamn shoes, much to Emmanuel Adebayor’s dismay. As with most near-death victims, when posed on the reason he isn’t missing sitters six feet under, he claims a higher power intervened.

“I believe that somebody held his hand over me. I don’t know what or who, but looking in a broader perspective I simply felt somebody assisting me. I believe fully that this was just not my time. It was not time for my life to end.”

Ladies and gentlemen, we can exclusively (!) reveal this divine hand saving young Nicklas’ life…

Saint Phil.

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Category: English Premier League, World Football