Nine Goals in Nine Minutes = Escândalo in Brazil

(Yes, it’s an ad at the beginning. Power through it. What follows is interesting.)

So let’s say you are a Brazilian club looking for a promotion to your state’s first division. It’s the 80th minute and you’re up by only two. Promotion will require more. So what do you do?

If you’re the Maranhão State club Viana — who were battling with Moto Clube for the last promotion spot into the Maranhão State Championship — you score nine goals in nine minutes against your opponent, Chapadinha, a team who had nothing on the line in the match.

Assuming Google Translate and I are on the same wavelength, here’s how it went down:

Seems Viana and Moto Clube arrived at their final matches even on points.
Everything came down to goal differential, where (depending on your source) either Moto Clube or Viana is leading by two. (This is delightfully described by Babelfish Translate as “The Viana fought the ascent with the Motorcycle.”)

Both clubs played their matches at the same time, and things looked okay for Moto Clube, who were up 3-1. Viana were also up by 2, 2-0.

But then all hell breaks loose. Viana somehow manages to score nine goals in nine minutes, and promotion looks assured. (Viana admits nothing here. Their coach says only that the game was normal except that Chapadinha “gave up.” No. Really?)

But it wasn’t over yet. The referee for the Moto Clube game heard what was happening in the Viana match and… Lo and behold, suddenly he sees reason to award a penalty. And another. And then a third. (The last of which they missed. The ingrates.)

The final score in the Moto Clube match was 5-1. Higher than it might have been, but not enough to beat Viana for promotion.

In the least surprising news of the century, Brazilian authorities are currently investigating both matches.

(Thanks, André!)
(Also spotted, post-writeup, on Dirty Tackle. Because…damn. You can’t beat Brooks on anything.) :-)

P.S. For anybody like me who is easily entertained by Babelfish translations, you’ll love this one, by an author who is clearly not a fan of the beautiful game as played in Maranhao:

From there, a goal per minute, the 11-0 and Viana to the Series To de Maranhao. We repeat: shameful. The goals are not loves, but Real Brazilian. Thus it is clearly in the state of Maranhao. It is a very low division, that does not approach the great leagues of the country. It is the Second Division of the state, in which five equipment only participates, since one (the Itinga) was excluded by debts with the Federation. In spite of that, it is a league governed by an official organism.

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Category: World Football