If Joey Barton Burgled a Liverpool Player, Then THAT Would Be News

Time to get metaphysical: If something happens with predictable regularity, then is it still news?

Today we learned that Liverpool’s Lucas returned from Champions League duty on Tuesday to find his house had been burgled. And so Lucas joins Dirk Kuyt, Steven Gerrard, Pepe Reina, Daniel Agger and Peter Crouch on the list of Liverpool players burgled while they were out playing for Liverpool. It’s news but isn’t.

Similarly, Joey Barton’s name came up in court recently…

Teenager Jordan Spencer is suing the world’s worst role model for the damage done to his face last December, which apparently left Jordan with a scar that “can be seen from six foot away”. I wish Joey Barton would make the headlines for reasons other than damaging other human beings.

In other news: water is wet, smoke is smokey and a team from Glasgow will win the Scottish Premier League. Now if it turns out that it was Joey Barton burgling all those Liverpool players, then we’d have have a story.

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Category: World Football