Now the WAGs are writing books

By: Bob | February 22nd, 2007

In a world in which a 21-year-old athlete is paid tons of money to write a five-part autobiography of his life, it is only natural that the 20-year-old girlfriend of the athlete also has the opportunity to take her shot at being an author. As our friends over at Kickette point out, Coleen McLoughlin, known to most of the free world as Wayne Rooney’s WAG, will be releasing her new book, Welcome to My World, in March.

Among the things that we have learned in advance of its release:

• Showing a flair for romance, Wayne Rooney proposed to her at a gas station. My theory is that he really was asking her if she wanted onion rings but she couldn’t understand him and took it as a marriage proposal instead.
• Wayne Rooney slept with the grandmother prostitute before ever sleeping with the woman he was engaged to. He was just getting some practice in, I suppose.
• The couple got engaged in 2003 but are taking their time until they get married. The date is set for after the Euro 2008 next summer. Expect your wedding invitation soon.
• If you are seriously thinking about spending £14.99 to buy this book I would be happy to come over to your house and poke your eyes out with an ice pick. It would be an equally enjoyable experience and would save you time to read volume two of Wayne’s life, release date to be announced soon.

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Category: World Football

Tags: Coleen McLoughlin, WAGS, Wayne Rooney, Welcome to my World, World Football

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• Marcello |  February 22nd, 2007 at 1:09 pm

  
  
  

  what does WAG stand for? let me take a lucky guess. Woman Across the World?

  Posted from United States

  

• Martha |  February 22nd, 2007 at 1:12 pm

  
  
  

  Marcello — “Wives and Girlfriends.”

  And that’s the best cover photo ever — straight out of Xanadu.

  Posted from United States

  

• Chris |  February 22nd, 2007 at 3:33 pm

  
  
  

  Colleen was doing her ‘I’m just Jenny from the council estate’ routine this week, then let slip she spends £3,000 a month on makeup and had just bought a £4,000 bag. Keeping it real.

  Posted from United Kingdom

  

• Trent |  February 22nd, 2007 at 3:46 pm

  
  
  

  Bob, you obviously made that up.

  Rooney would never share his onion rings.

  Posted from United States

  

• Miss V |  February 22nd, 2007 at 5:53 pm

  
  
  

  worse than reading the book? WRITING it! can you imagine the poor sod of a ghostwriter who had to sit there nodding and acting interested while Coleen nattered on about petrol station love? eep.

  Posted from United States

  

• james |  February 23rd, 2007 at 9:35 am

  
  
  

  Miss V - spot on. You’ve made it to “Ghostwriter” status - probably after years of toiling on the tabs and then the broadsheets, and what comes across your desk but the life story of a twenty year old chav/slag whose only claim to fame is having been bagged by a great, if completely intolerable, footballer.

  “now tell me about the time wayne got drunk”

  Posted from United States

  

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