Now the WAGs are writing books

In a world in which a 21-year-old athlete is paid tons of money to write a five-part autobiography of his life, it is only natural that the 20-year-old girlfriend of the athlete also has the opportunity to take her shot at being an author. As our friends over at Kickette point out, Coleen McLoughlin, known to most of the free world as Wayne Rooney’s WAG, will be releasing her new book, Welcome to My World, in March.

Among the things that we have learned in advance of its release:

• Showing a flair for romance, Wayne Rooney proposed to her at a gas station. My theory is that he really was asking her if she wanted onion rings but she couldn’t understand him and took it as a marriage proposal instead.
• Wayne Rooney slept with the grandmother prostitute before ever sleeping with the woman he was engaged to. He was just getting some practice in, I suppose.
• The couple got engaged in 2003 but are taking their time until they get married. The date is set for after the Euro 2008 next summer. Expect your wedding invitation soon.
• If you are seriously thinking about spending £14.99 to buy this book I would be happy to come over to your house and poke your eyes out with an ice pick. It would be an equally enjoyable experience and would save you time to read volume two of Wayne’s life, release date to be announced soon.

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Category: World Football