Oliver Kahn doesn’t like to Pee in Front of Others

By: Bob | March 19th, 2007

When the story broke on Friday that Bayern Munich’s Oliver Kahn and Lucio were being investigated by UEFA for “improper behavior” during their doping test after their Champions League match on March 7 my imagination went a little wild. Two footballers, piss cups and improper behavior…it sounds like the plot of a low budget porn film. Alas, the details are starting to emerge about what really happened behind those proverbially closed doors.

The Guardian’s Raphael Honigstein has the performance anxiety story:

In the meantime, however, there is the “Pinkelaffäre” (Bild), a sort of “urinalgate” to deal with: Uefa has charged Lucio and Oliver Kahn with “inappropriate behaviour” after both allegedly insulted an official during the routine doping checks after the Real Madrid game. The way Bayern tell it, the players had trouble providing the necessary sample. When Kahn finally produced after two hours, the official asked for a repeat performance because he hadn’t witnessed the act. Cue a (verbal) eruption from “Vul-Kahn” and the Brazilian.

Two hours to urinate. That is just further proof that Kahn is a robot and is not human. I’d also like to meet the pee official who demanded a re-pee from Oliver Kahn after two hours of grunting. That man must have some serious brass balls or a serious death wish.

Some Related Stories:

Category: Bundesliga, Champions League, World Football

« LA Galaxy to have hooligan-trained SWAT team on standby for Beckham matches | Home | Daily Dose 03.20.07 »

The Offside RSS Feeds

Trent

Bob, if Satre is right, hell for you would be Ollie Kahn's eternal urine sample taker.
uneditedmara

Pee is a little too personal for Kahn. He'd rather have blood drawn from him .. the old fashioned way. ;)
ballack's missing hair

pee. kahn drinking beer. association is a little too close for comfort...
Ahmed Bilal

how much time do you guys have on your hands? :)

in all fairness it does sound like a plot for a low-budget movie
Laurie

I'm actually not all that comfortable thinking about the fact that Kahn has the equipment to perform a urine test. So this is Way Too Much Information on multiple levels.