On Hot Players, HABs Offside, and Luis Figo’s Potato

By: Laurie | September 28th, 2008

Men and those with sensitive stomachs may want to click out now.

Still here? Okay. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

This post is all about welcoming you, our dear (and especially our female) readers to our newest blog, HABs Offside. But by way of introduction, I would like to share a little story.

Pierre, the Frenchman, and Paddy, the Irishman, were taking a holiday by the sea. After the first day, Paddy returns to the room depressed.

Pierre: Paddy, what eez wrong?
Paddy: I’ve been here a full day, and none of the women are paying attention to me.
Pierre: Paddy, per’aps you would like to know what I do. When I go to ze beach, I take a potato and put it inside my swimming trunks. It captures ze attention of ze ladies!
Paddy: Ah! Yes! I’ll do it!

A day later, Paddy shows up, even more depressed.

Pierre: Paddy, what is ze problem?
Paddy: Well, I put in the potato like you said, but all the ladies laughed at me.
Pierre: Ah. Yes. I think I see ze problem. Next time? You must put ze potato in ze front.

And with this in mind, I would like to ask everyone to take a moment to bow down in homage to Inter’s Luis Figo, who has truly mastered the art of Perfect Potato Placement. (WARNING: Scroll down at your own risk.)

(See? I warned you. You never listen.)

And now, if you have survived that, I would ask you to please stop by our new blog, HABs Offside, the for-the-females equivalent to WAGs Offside. If you are all about player objectification and player ogling, our bloggers are there for you.

So bookmark! Now!

P.S. A few weeks back, we were down visiting my mother-in-law, and she says to me, “So [husband] gave me the name of the site you write for. I’m going to have to stop by.” And of course I gave the only possible answer I could have given, which was: “Wow. Would you check out the size of the roses on that rosebush!!”

P.P.S. If you are my mother-in-law, visiting this site for the first time? You are getting drowsy. Your eyes are getting heavy. You will sleep, and when you awaken, you will remember my Transfer Rumors post, and my Beautiful People Swapping Shirts post, and my Galaxy Rule Change post, but you will have no memory of this one whatsoever. Except for a possible, inexplicable craving for fully stuffed jacket potatoes.

P.P.P.S. When I put that last sentence in close proximity to the word “mother-in-law”? I even icked myself out.

P.P.P.P.S. Go ahead. Admit it. You’ve missed me, haven’t you?