Paris St. Germain Needs to Pay me to NOT Watch Their Games

By: Laurie | February 7th, 2009

Dear PSG:

I believe that you are in need of my services. Before this weekend, you were sitting 6th in le Championnat. Today’s win can’t hurt, but you’re still pretty far out of the title race, right?

This is where I can help.

I was watching your game against Nantes today on TV. In the twelfth minute I went upstairs to get coffee, and by the time I got back downstairs, Ludovic Giuly had scored.

Later on, my coffee was getting cold. I went upstairs again for two minutes, tops. When I got back, Peguy Luyindula had scored.

And in the second half, I decided to go upstairs for one more shot of caffeine. This time, Giuly again. A little later? Another trip out of the room, and Luyindula scores.

I missed ten minutes of the game, tops, but in the 4-1 game, the only goal I saw as it was happening was the lone Nantes goal.

My services in not watching your games are available for hire for the remainder of the season for the right price (plus gourmet coffee beans and a lock of Luyindula’s hair. I would ask for a lock of Giuly’s, but I’m not sure he can spare it these days.)

(Haha! Just kidding, Ludo!)

Please have your people contact my people.

Sincerely,

Laurie

P.S. Hate the grey uniforms. They look like your laundry person washed the whites with the darks. But we can discuss that when you call.

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Category: World Football

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Laurie

Weston, with my luck, they'd hire me and it would be going really well. And then I'd have one bad game, and PSG fans would slash my tires, hack me with a hatchet, give me death threats and post ugly banners about me on national TV.

And then Nicolas Sarkozy would come to my defense, which would infuriate Lilian Thuram, who would then never speak to me...

I think it's best that we just leave this as is.

;-P
Weston (@wpazzurri)

you should babel-fish that letter and mail it for real, just to see what happens.
Laurie

Marco, I think it's far more complicated than that. I tried not watching whole entire Galaxy games last year in hopes of helping them, and it didn't work at all. I think the trick is in the timing of the watching and leaving.

(This is my story, and I'm sticking to it.)
Laurie

Ranjeet, And sacrifice this money-making opportunity? I think not! ;-)
Ranjeet

I have a solution. Shift the TV upstairs or the coffee downstairs. Should work.
Marcus R4E

LOL, good one Laurie
that was heppening to me wen id go n watch melbourne Victory, i saw them 8 times n the didnt win.
the in december i saw them n i decided to bet against them (yes i put money on sydney, i hold my head in shame) and no joke sydney scored twice in the opening 4 minutes n i was like YES I MADE EASY MONEY IM GONNA B RICH....by the 80th minute we were 3-2 up n one n they have won every game ive been 2 since which is 5 or 6
Marco P.

Getting paid to NOT watch a Ligue 1 match? Where do I sign? ;P
Bro

lol, I feel like I can entirely relate, haha.