Paul Jewell Promotes Drinking and Diving

Just about every week in the English Premiership there seems to be at least one diving controversy that gets everyone up in arms. This past weekend it was the theatrics of Cristiano Ronaldo. This has led various commentators to take to their soapbox and to preach about the ruination of the sport. Yawn. Thankfully there is someone like Wigan boss Paul Jewell to keep us all entertained and to offer up real solutions to the cheating epidemic.

Employing the logic of someone who frequents 24-hour pubs quite often, Jewell explains why diving isn’t all that bad and how allowing it will make it disappear from the game.

“I may be the only person in the world who believes this, but why don’t we allow it?” Jewell told Sky Sports.

“The pubs open 24 hours a day and everybody was worried people would be drunk on the streets, well there are less drunks on the streets now than when they used to close at three o’clock.

“So we just allow it and stop everyone talking about it. One week you get away with it, the next week you wouldn’t. So stop it in my opinion.

“People say it is cheating, but you ask any supporter and if one of our players goes down in the box and we need a penalty to stay in the league or win a cup. Do you know what they are going to say? Go down.

“At the end of the day I might get lambasted for that, but that’s the way it is. We are all trying to get an edge. When the ball goes out of play and it is obviously a corner, defenders always say it is their ball. It is a just creating an edge.

“I hate diving, but if it is in the game and if you allow it, it will go away on its own and people will stop talking about it.”

Jewell’s logic is one that should be applied elsewhere in society. For example, I hate murder, but it is part of our culture and if you allow it, it will go away on its own and people will stop talking about it.

Go down to your local pub right now, throw a few back and it will all be perfectly clear.

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Category: English Premier League, World Football