Ray, Get a Room! Hudson’s ManCrush on Lionel Messi Gets Embarrassing

At some point during Barcelona’s 2-0 victory over Real Madrid at the Bernabeu, the ever-creative commentator Ray Hudson said:

“Everybody’s running out of adjectives and descriptions for that man.”

That would be, of course, everybody but Ray himself, whose talent for coming up with adjectives and descriptions never seems to fail him. Especially when he’s talking about his mancrush, Lionel Messi.

I couldn’t capture all of them because Ray’s brain works far faster than my fingers. But here are just a few Messi-related Hudsonisms:

“He doesn’t live in the tactical world or the technical world, he lives in the magnetic spectrum of genius!!!!!”

“the mercurial, brilliant magician that is Lionel Messi…”

“this little diamond of a footballer.”

“This little miniature marvel.”

“what he is, he’s like something out of Greek mythology man. A little short-legged bull, covered with eyes.”

Um…yeah. That’s exactly the description I would have chosen, too.

But Ray does not limit his descriptions to what Messi is. He also feels compelled to describe what he does.

“Like a zombie hunter looking for a twinkie.”

And then to continue with the horror movie motif:

“That little werewolf just sunk his fangs into ‘em.”

“Oozing class and oozing the killer touch…”

(Because that’s what happens when you’re dealing with zombie hunters and werewolves, apparently. You start oozing.)

And then, when Messi rushes back to defend on a counter, he’s…what animal, exactly?

But all the accolades weren’t limited to Messi. His teammate Xavi also came in for praise:

“The immaculate Xavi, the metronome of this team.

“the connection [between Xavi and Messi] like two beautiful neurons.”

Which is good. Because I’d hate to think of them as ugly neurons.

Never change, Ray. Never change.

But next time you might want to get a room.

And thanks to Chris for finding me the video for the Zombie Hunter reference:

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Category: Spain La Liga, World Football