Romario is Balding, Not Doping

At a somber press conference yesterday, Romario (who, yes, is both still alive and still footballing) revealed that he tested positive for banned substance finasteride after Vasco da Gama’s 2-2 draw with Palmeiras at the end of October.

Not to worry, though, kids: the substance in question is the active ingredient in magical hair-growth product Propecia, which the legend says he’s taking. Got to look good for the ladies! (This is, after all, the man who suggested footballers be required to have sex on the days of matches, because it makes the legs “feel more nimble.” You know he’s worried about keeping a full head of hair.)

Despite Romario’s need for lush, flowing locks, though, finasteride is a banned substance. It’s not that the Powers That Be don’t want athletes looking good, of course, the problem is that, in addition to growing hair, the stuff also does a very nice job of masking the presence of steroids in the body. Doh!

Not to worry: Romario has vowed to fight on, assuring his people that the positive test will not end his career. (Really, was there any fear of that? The guy is going to keep playing until he’s getting around with a walker.) At the moment, he’s awaiting his chance to appear before a Brazilian sports tribunal, at which point he’ll launch his appeal.

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Category: South America, World Football

Tags: brazil, finasteride, Romario, South America, Vasco da Gama, World Football

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