Rooney Picks Up Mystery Virus

Seems Man Utd are paying for their moneymaking trip to Africa. Wayne Rooney has picked up an unnamed mystery virus that will almost certainly keep him out of Man Utd’s first Premier League game.

“I doubt Wayne will be fit for the start of the season,” said United boss Sir Alex Ferguson.

“It’s a virus he picked up in Nigeria and it’s not a nice one. He’s not been back in training yet.”

Ferguson revealed Rooney’s illness was diagnosed by the club’s own laboratory.

Wait. Manchester United have their own laboratory?

But that’s not the weirdest thing. The weirdest thing is that Man Utd were in Nigeria to play a friendly against Portsmouth. As far as I’m aware, Portsmouth is located on the south coast of England, not in Nigeria. So why go that far to play them?

For money and marketing of course. Which is of course the reason for most exotic pre-season tours.

But this season, the money and marketing efforts will have a very real effect on the start of Utd’s season as they’ll play (ironically) Portsmouth in the Community Shield on Sunday and their first Premier League game against Newcastle on August 17th.

If we can now add the prospect of picking up a virus to the general exertion of playing in faraway locations, is there any chance that clubs will think twice about the proposed international mini-leagues?

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Category: World Football