Rooney Picks Up Mystery Virus

By: Daryl | August 5th, 2008

Seems Man Utd are paying for their moneymaking trip to Africa. Wayne Rooney has picked up an unnamed mystery virus that will almost certainly keep him out of Man Utd’s first Premier League game.

“I doubt Wayne will be fit for the start of the season,” said United boss Sir Alex Ferguson.

“It’s a virus he picked up in Nigeria and it’s not a nice one. He’s not been back in training yet.”

Ferguson revealed Rooney’s illness was diagnosed by the club’s own laboratory.

Wait. Manchester United have their own laboratory?

But that’s not the weirdest thing. The weirdest thing is that Man Utd were in Nigeria to play a friendly against Portsmouth. As far as I’m aware, Portsmouth is located on the south coast of England, not in Nigeria. So why go that far to play them?

For money and marketing of course. Which is of course the reason for most exotic pre-season tours.

But this season, the money and marketing efforts will have a very real effect on the start of Utd’s season as they’ll play (ironically) Portsmouth in the Community Shield on Sunday and their first Premier League game against Newcastle on August 17th.

If we can now add the prospect of picking up a virus to the general exertion of playing in faraway locations, is there any chance that clubs will think twice about the proposed international mini-leagues?

	Soccer Forums	Team/International Results

Category: World Football

Tags: disease, Manchester nited, mystery, Nigeria, Portsmouth, virus, Wayne Rooney, World Football

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Comments  

• Melissa |  August 5th, 2008 at 10:00 am

  
  
  

  This article just screams STD. Good luck with all that, Rooney.

  Posted from United States

  

• Antonio |  August 5th, 2008 at 10:54 am

  
  
  

  That’s what you get for being greedy money munchers…

  And paying for sex from Nigerian hookers. (He’s not the greatest looking guy.)

  Posted from United States

  

• Johnny |  August 5th, 2008 at 11:28 am

  
  
  

  I hope “Nigeria” isn’t Fergie’s code word for “Colleen.”

  Posted from United States

  

• elle |  August 5th, 2008 at 12:14 pm

  
  
  

  didn’t some other premier league players get malaria or something this summer too?

  Posted from United States

  

• kovosoccer |  August 5th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

  
  
  

  I hope he gets back soon he is an exciting player and I love watching him.

  Posted from United States

  

• Laurie |  August 5th, 2008 at 5:18 pm

  
  
  

  Elle, yeah, Kolo Toure had malaria. And Michael Owen had mumps. Tis the year for exotic EPL diseases.

  Posted from United States

  

• Antonio |  August 5th, 2008 at 6:53 pm

  
  
  

  Michael Owen got mumps from Clara, the 7 dollar hooker. She’ll spend the day for 20$. Good price. I know.

  But the mumps really suck….

  Posted from United States

  

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