Sepp Blatter Hates this Man

By: Bob | November 21st, 2006

The warm and cozy smile in the picture to the left belongs to the new face of West Ham United. The English Premier League club was purchased today by the Icelandic billionaire Eggert Magnusson. Who knew that you could make millions selling ice? Isn’t that what they do in Iceland? In any event, Magnusson’s investment group paid a cool $161 million for the rights for future Premiership mediocrity. While West Ham fans may be rejoicing that they now have an owner with deep pockets, FIFA Grandmaster Sepp Blatter views Magnusson and his ilk as the biggest threat to civilization since the advent of fat-free sour cream.

“There exists a system in football at the moment that if we don’t stop it will do serious damage,” Blatter told a news conference after being made an honorary member of Real Madrid.

“There are investors who buy clubs, especially in England which happens to be the most attractive but not the best league. There are investors from Iran, Russia, the United States, Georgia all involved there.

“There are a number of organizations that are not transparent, many of which are based in the Caribbean, the British Virgin Islands, Gibraltar and the Cayman Islands. It is a very delicate matter and we need the help of the judicial authorities in all countries to deal with it.

“The latest case we have seen is the president of the Icelandic Federation (Eggert Magnusson) buying West Ham…we need to be careful football doesn’t end up in the hands of people who want football to serve them instead of them serving football.”

Blatter did not go on to address how ironic it is for a man who has used football to serve himself and his merry band of cronies for decades to question the intentions of people who are injecting more money into the sport and giving new life to clubs that might otherwise struggle to compete on the global football market.

He did, however, continue along the xenophobic path by backing those who call for restrictions on the number of foreign players in domestic leagues.

“The local and national identification doesn’t exist when there are 11 players from 11 different countries. In one game in the Italian league last season Inter Milan had only one European player in the 11 on the pitch,” said Blatter.

Hmm, last time I checked Italy won the World Cup. Clearly they were hurt by the lack of Europeans on Inter Milan.