Six-Game Ban for Garlic; Six-Month Ban for a Boot to the Face
By: Bob | May 8th, 2007
Investigators around the world are working overtime to look into the wrongdoings football players and to dish out the appropriate punishments. We start in Japan where Kawasaki Frontale striker Kazuki Ganaha will have six games to think about why he allowed doctors to inject him with garlic to treat a bout of influenza.
Ganaha has been handed the ban because Japanese anti-doping rules prohibit intravenous treatment even when using something as ridiculous as garlic. He deserves the punishment. Everyone knows that an injection of horse piss and little girls’ eyelashes are a much better cure for the flu anyway.
The punishment is more sever for Valez Sarsfield keeper Gaston Sessa. He has been hit with a six-month ban for trying to inject Boca Juniors Rodrigo Palacio’s face with his boot. To make matters worse he has also been ordered to get psychological treatment. Do you know how hard it is to find a good psychologist who treats football-related anger? Just ask Joey Barton.
In England, Michael Ball has gotten all sniffly and apologetic following his stomping of CR7. He has been charged with violent conduct.
“I deeply regret what I did and have accepted the FA’s charge without hesitation. I have also sent a personal apology to Cristiano,” Ball told Manchester City’s website. “My action should not be seen on a football pitch and I know we have a responsibility at Premier League level to set a good example to the whole football community.”
That community also includes Fulham’s Michael Brown who has been told to wear the letters ‘VC’ on his jersey for his decidedly unfriendly head-butt against Liverpool midfielder Xabi Alonso on Saturday. He will receive a three-game suspension if he is found guilty, but at least every pore in his body doesn’t stink of garlic, or so I have been told.
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