Stem Cells are becoming the New Magic Spray for Soccer Players
By: Bob | August 28th, 2006
The weird worlds of science and football collided today with reports that some football players in England’s Premier League are storing their newborn children’s stem cells for possible use as a “repair kit” for future injuries.
The paper quoted one unnamed Premier League player from a north west club as saying: “We decided to store our new baby’s stem cells for possible future therapeutic reasons, both for our children and possibly for myself.
“As a footballer, if you’re prone to injury it can mean the end of your career, so having your stem cells - a repair kit if you like - on hand makes sense.”
While some might debate the ethics of this and while others might question whether it is even scientifically possible to repair an injury with stem cells, we are only left to dream about the endless possibilities.
What if Michael Owen’s crocked leg could be healed? What if Wayne Rooney’s crocked brain could be healed through a few injections of stem cells? What if Marco Materazzi could be injected with some gray matter and he could become a nice guy? What if Pele could be regenerated and make a comeback? What if David Beckham’s hair could be restored to its 1999 glory?
Imagine a time when a player goes down to injury and a trainer rushes onto the pitch with a bottle of stem cells instead of a bottle of magic spray!
The future is indeed bright and all of these thoughts almost make us forget how creepy the idea of players using their children’s stem cells to heal themselves really would be.
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Comments
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As part of contract negotiations, do clubs offer genetically optimal concubines for the players to mate with so they can produce children with the highest quality stem cells?
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It is about time that they started putting those damn embryos to some use other than as Easter eggs.
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Do you suppose Peter Crouch is a product of a stem cell transplant gone awry?
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