Steven Gerrard Tops the Football Autobiography Table

By: Bob | May 22nd, 2007

Now that the season is over for most football players in the UK they can get down to their other business: writing autobiographies that shed light on their 20-plus years of existence. Mercifully, this year’s crop of football books will be less abundant than the World Cup-inspired lot we shall last year. How did those books end up doing? Did anyone actually buy them or will they be used as toilet paper in the years to come (side note: in Kazakhstan I used old science textbooks, which I would thoroughly recommend you avoid)?

Topping the football autobiography sales charts is none other than Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard. Apparently people near and far have been eager to read his slagging of Gennaro Gattuso among other things.

Further down on the list is Wayne Rooney, who will earn a shot at redemption when he publishes the next four installments of his life. He should hire his WAG as his ghostwriter.

Robbie Fowler’s book is still going strong despite being a couple of years old. People are always eager to read the words of God.

As for Ashley Cole’s tome, My Defence, it was the 14th bestseller on this dubious list, but it did garner one of my favorite customer reviews on Amazon.com:

“I think many of your other reviewers have been reading a different book to me. In this wonderful piece of postmodern fiction we follow a heartbreakingly tragic character, a true misfit in the field of Tom-A-Bedlam, or perhaps Withnail without the drink. Our hero details the pitfalls of his life, as he strives against those who would crush him; he struggles against his internal demons; he shows a morality that is stunning in these days as he fights against those that would deny his birthright. I feel i can reveal it, but the twist as they actually lose in the World Cup when you would expect redemption through victory marks Mr Cole as a true genius. I look forward to any further installments in what will surely be a series of misadventures studied by future generations.”

The Football Autobiography Table

1 Steven Gerrard – Gerrard: My Autobiography

2 Alan Brazil – There’s an Awful Lot of Bubbly in Brazil: The Life and Times of a Bon Viveur

3 Frank Lampard – Totally Frank: The Autobiography of Frank Lampard

4 Paul McGrath – Back from the Brink: The Autobiography

5 Wayne Rooney – Wayne Rooney: My Story So Far

6 Neil Lennon – Neil Lennon: Man and Bhoy

7 Robbie Fowler – Fowler: My Autobiography

8 Shaun Goater – Feed the Goat: The Shaun Goater Story

9 Barry Ferguson – Blue: The Life and Times of Barry Ferguson

10 Bobby Robson – Farewell But Not Goodbye

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