Story Of A Diver: David N’Gog Ends His Career Before It’s Begun.

By: chris | November 9th, 2009


[101GG]

This is bad. So very, very bad.

Liverpool and Birmingham offered us, as Daryl so aptly pointed out, ‘what the Premier league is supposed to be like’. It really was some fantastic stuff with the Reds pinning Birmingham into not just their box, but their own six yard box; pinging the ball around the eighteen as though it were the halfway line. The obligatory wunderstrike was even present thanks to the tightly wound cornrows of Cameron Jerome. It was simply magnificent at times.

Then David N’Gog did that, in the process altering the course of both the game and his reputation.

The stigma of Alberto Gilardino based on one moment alone? He’s a diver of the highest order. Eduardo? Years of sympathy undone in one careless moment. Rivaldo? From one of the greatest players the game’s seen to a punch line. The Diving Hall of Fame riddled with rosy cheeks and tarnished reputations.

David N’Gog could become the greatest thing since Andriy Voronin’s ponytail. He could rewrite the book on strikers with Shakespearean genius. He could even repent and donate his yearly income to anti-diving charities and go on African missions teaching the village children the art of staying on one’s feet. It won’t matter. He’s a diver, and that will never, ever change. Not in the era of YouTube. Such is the stigma of one ill-fated decision.

Mommas, don’t let your boys grow up to be divers – they can never go back.

[4:40 here if/when the above gets yanked.]



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Comments   |  Add your comment

  • Ibracadabra |  November 9th, 2009 at 9:42 pm

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    What a dive… the wonder-goal was scored by the tightly wound cornrows of Cameron Jerome, not Cameron James… though Christian Benitez (CHUCHO) looked much more dangerous and could hit 10 EPL goals this year if BIR continue to play with 2 up front rather than the dull defensive 4-5-1.

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  • chris |  November 9th, 2009 at 10:05 pm

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    Thanks, Ibra.

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  • Thomas |  November 9th, 2009 at 10:13 pm

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    Come on, show David some love. Poached at a young age by a big Prem team, he’s just trying to make it. Anyway, he doesn’t exactly have very good examples to follow in the EPL. The recent stars there seem to be the ones who fall over easily (Drogba, CR9, Gerrard…).

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  • Fwembt |  November 9th, 2009 at 10:42 pm

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    Inexcusable. That kind of thing gets you injured in a Sunday amateur league.

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  • InTheBox |  November 10th, 2009 at 3:20 am

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    One only wonders why Rooney isn’t in your list of petulant divers. Or Drogba. It seems like those fellows have been able to have pretty good careers despite being cheaters of the highest quality.

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  • pla |  November 10th, 2009 at 3:45 am

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    InTheBox – and when is the last time any of them made such a ridiculous dive? Sure, sometimes they go down easily, but at least they try to have some excuse for it. I can’t recall any Rooney’s or Drogba’s dive that was such an obvious cheat. What we have here is something else, compared only to Gilardino and Eduardo (both against Celtic).

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  • Oli |  November 10th, 2009 at 5:08 am

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    Someone give InTheBox a link to the last Diving Hall of Fame post, that’ll explin to him what makes someone a real classic diver.

    Posted from United Kingdom United Kingdom

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  • Drabik |  November 10th, 2009 at 6:34 am

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    Maybe if the FA start giving awards for ‘dive of the year’, things will change.

    My favourite dive was Pires vs Portsmouth, running past a player, moving his leg towards the defender so that there was contact… you know the rest.

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  • Marlon |  November 10th, 2009 at 10:07 am

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    To be fair, at the speed of the game it didn’t look like an obvious dive… which is probably why he dove.

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  • Ian |  November 10th, 2009 at 10:51 am

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    While I’m not going to begin to contest that it was a dive, as it most certainly was, Carsley slid for the ball in the box and completely missed. Had N’gog dragged his foot enough to create contact, would that still be a dive? Should we reasonably expect players to do everything in their power to stay on their feet in the box when they have clearly lost the ball and they would be fouled had they not done anything?

    There is no doubt in my mind that had N’gog simply continued his run, he would have gone down.

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  • Matilda |  November 10th, 2009 at 11:44 am

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    As the Brummie I was sitting next too in an airport bar said “We’re watching the bloody Liverpool Ballet”

    Posted from United States United States

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  • star_bury |  November 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm

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    I’m gonna vent a little here:

    1) I’m a Liverpool fan and I’d rather give back the point and let Brum have their 3. If LFC can’t capitalize on 74% possession, we don’t deserve it.

    2) I’m pitching a new LOTG here. If a player gets a yellow for a bad tackle at the halfway line, and the same tackle earns a red if it denies a goal-scoring opportunity, can’t that be done vice-versa as well? A dive at the halfway line should earn a yellow, while a dive to win a PK should be a straight red (even retroactively after review).

    3) I’m fed up with the “he didn’t touch him” argument. Laws of the Game state that a free kick should be given even if it’s only an attempt to foul, and clearly, the ball was long gone. That said:

    4) I agree with Ian. If a player is fouled and goes down, fine. Even if he COULD stay on his feet after the foul, the player would obviously prefer a PK than an off-balance shot with the goalie cutting down the angle. If a tackle comes, there’s either got to be enough contact to foul you, or the attempted tackle must throw you off your stride enough to ruin your goal-scoring opportunity. Give a PK for either. If a player dives over a tackle just to try and get the call, that’s inexcusable.

    Thoughts?

    Posted from Canada Canada

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  • Yevy |  November 10th, 2009 at 1:06 pm

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    Ian’s post sums it up nicely. A penalty was in order as soon as Carsley slid in front of Ngog and missed the ball. If Ngog had the experience and the presence of mind he could have dragged his foot and gotten the same result as the swan dive without the controversy. Ngog’s third option was to hurdle the challenge and stay on his feet, forfeiting the scoring chance in the process, but until referees start calling penalties for attempts at a bad tackle he’s better off going to ground, one way or the other.

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  • sandrahn |  November 10th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

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    How predictably hypocritical for the media to fixate on a foreign player diving while ignoring Darren Bent’s blatant dive in the Spurs-Sunderland game.

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  • InTheBox |  November 10th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

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    To pla and Oli. They make ridiculous dives ALL THE TIME. Thats the thing. Drogba gets kung-foo’d and goes all epileptic and gets himself booked. You think that if maybe he wasn’t known for that kind of twaddle maybe Evans would have been sent off?

    Oh, and someone else has already done my work for me for Rooney
    Are they as obvious as N’Gog? Nope. Are they any less a ‘disgrace’ or a ‘classic diver’? I’ll put forth the argument that they are worse because they are A)harder to catch and b) more premeditated… I’ll bet you that N’Gog wasn’t looking to go down (at least right away), if he was he wouldn’t have made such a hash of it.

    But don’t get me wrong, its still bad…

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  • InTheBox |  November 10th, 2009 at 3:19 pm

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    Eh, sorry, of course no linkage in the comments… just go to YouTube, its pretty easy to find all sorts of obvious dives from just about everyone

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  • JC |  November 11th, 2009 at 1:23 am

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    Players do tricks to fool opponents all the time, so why can’t they do the same to fool the ref?

    Posted from United Arab Emirates United Arab Emirates

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  • old apple |  November 11th, 2009 at 9:04 am

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    I love the attempts at justification. Carsleys tackle was so far away I doubt it really affected N’gogs movement, he dove because he was more or less alone on the end line and wanted a PK. Shameful.

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  • Randall |  November 12th, 2009 at 3:42 am

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    Please, some of those liverpool supporters that are protecting ngog.He dived, end of story.It is disgusting and should not be considered at all.

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  • ShellyBabe |  November 12th, 2009 at 1:32 pm

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    mh i really want to find a cool guy who wants to chat with me

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