That Penis is clearly not David Beckham’s

By: Bob | April 18th, 2007

It is the penis seen around the world. Or at least the World Wide Web world. If your Internet connection seems a little slow today it is because everyone is clogging the pipes looking at some NSFW pictures of David Beckham naked. The million dollar question on all of our minds is whether they are fake or are they real? It is obvious to me. Clearly he can’t bend it like that.

Now we have definitive word in both Italian and English that the penis belongs to someone else.

David’s spokesman insists the images are not authentic, saying: “The picture is a fake. The head is from a photoshoot we did in 2004 – and that penis is clearly not his!”

Clearly it is not. But whose penis is that and what is it doing on David Beckham’s body? Inquiring minds certainly want to know…

	Soccer Forums	Team/International Results

Category: World Football

Tags: David Beckham, penis, World Football

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• Wes |  April 18th, 2007 at 1:51 pm

  
  
  

  Clearly it is fake. He has no balls.

  Posted from United States

  

• Laurie |  April 18th, 2007 at 2:19 pm

  
  
  

  One of my commenters said that there’s an article that compares the body part in question with a yam. And then posts a photo of a yam beside it for comparison purposes.

  I will never, ever even be able to look at another yam. In fact, I think I will now have to avoid the produce aisle for the rest of my life, on the off chance that I might take a wrong turn and unexpectedly find myself gazing on a yam.

  Posted from United States

  

• Laurie |  April 18th, 2007 at 2:23 pm

  
  
  

  Oh, and how amusing do I find it that you have a tagline reading “Penis.”

  Get many searches for that one on a soccer blog, do we?

  (And here is where my dying of curiosity, no-self-control self is doing battle with my mature, grown-up, mom self. But I have NOT clicked on the tagline. Yet.)

  Posted from United States

  

• Bob |  April 18th, 2007 at 2:38 pm

  
  
  

  Guess you’ll miss out on seeing the penis tattoo story again…

  Posted from United States

  

• Nick |  April 18th, 2007 at 2:44 pm

  
  
  

  Imagine the damage he could do to skinny old Posh with that thing…

  Posted from Canada

  

• Diane |  April 18th, 2007 at 3:23 pm

  
  
  

  OK, Bob and Laurie, quit skulking around behind our backs and out with the truth! I accidentally dropped in here in search of something seriously football, seriously, and there the two of you are toying with information your readers are craving. Apparently it is now clear to BOTH Becks’ spokespersons AND Bob that the www examined penis is not a Becks penis. All your readers want to know is HOW is that made clear???
  Even though I am EXTREMELY happily married, if I have been averring my eyes from footballers kitted crotches so efficiently that I am missing something that would make their unkitted crotches identifiable, I think I have the right to know.
  Be brutally frank.

  Posted from Canada

  

• Laurie |  April 18th, 2007 at 4:08 pm

  
  
  

  It’s true, Diane. Yes, it is a closely guarded secret, usually revealed only to bloggers such as ourselves, butin order to play professional soccer, you must register your private parts in the International Soccer Players’ Penis Registry.

  And how this registration process is handled… Well, let’s just not go there, okay?

  Posted from United States

  

• Bob |  April 18th, 2007 at 4:09 pm

  
  
  

  Diane, I will defer all Beckham penis-related questions to Laurie from here on out.

  Posted from United States

  

• Laurie |  April 18th, 2007 at 4:13 pm

  
  
  

  Thank you, Bob. My mother will be so proud.

  Posted from United States

  

• Diane |  April 18th, 2007 at 5:03 pm

  
  
  

  You guys are the cutest bloggers EVER!!! Plus I just got to show my daughter the Messi as Maradona goal eighteen times. Thank GAWD the possibly Beckham penis didn’t come up that far on the screen (let’s not try to edit that sentence). OK Bob, all penis questions to Laurie — remember we’re not supposed to be singling Beckham out for special attention over the other boys.
  I’m so excited to have accidentally been wearing my Barcelona hoodie today, and therefore clearly at least partly responsible for Messi’s magnificent performance, that I won’t even ask Laurie to describe the handling of penis…registration to her loyal readers.
  Oh hell, everyone should just post the Ali G. interview link again — it has better shelf life. Eighteen dancing goal viewings later and I’m (almost) ready to take the yams out of the trash. A football geek, can barely keep my mind in the gutter.

  Posted from Canada

  

• mele419 |  April 19th, 2007 at 11:02 am

  
  
  

  Yes, because Backham has the legs of a black man
  XP

  Posted from United States

  

• ben |  July 23rd, 2007 at 11:50 pm

  
  
  

  wes funny he is the one to talk.

  Posted from United States

  

• red |  August 23rd, 2007 at 8:53 am

  
  
  

  i want a no-cut picture

  Posted from Republic Of Korea

  

• april |  August 23rd, 2007 at 7:20 pm

  
  
  

  i want to know who is the man of this penis.

  Posted from Republic Of Korea

  

• gOERGE |  October 29th, 2007 at 8:15 pm

  
  
  

  tengo mas musculos que el

  Posted from Canada

  

• David Beckham hat einen ganz langen... - Skats-Community |  December 15th, 2007 at 1:31 pm | Pingback

  
  
  

  [...] hat sein Ding doch schon einmal gezeigt, wurde aber schon kurz darauf als Fake enttarnt. Aber ist doch egal, solange er sein Geld nicht als Darsteller in speziellen Filmen [...]

  Posted from Canada

  

• ryan |  December 20th, 2007 at 3:49 am

  
  
  

  there is actually 2 pictures…the 2nd one is nearer but it is tken from his back showing his balls and penis

  Posted from Singapore

  

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