The All-Christmas Eleven

It’s a bit tragic that the world is devoid of top-level footy – though not all footy – on Christmas day, but it’d be even more tragic were the players devoid of their families.

However, if the gods were to divine a football match to be played for the sake of Christmas on Christmas, a truly festive side, what would it look like? (A bit like that tree.) And would it be any good? (The answer is a firm no.) But perhaps, since it’s devoid of Premiership players, this team could take part in a Boxing Day friendly to keep the holiday spirit alive.

This team was constructed with the tremendous help of Global Football Database, along with far too many hours thinking of ridiculous Christmas terms and forgetting the obvious. In other words: business as usual.

There is, of course, only one formation which could contain such a team: the 4-3-2-1. Or in other words: the Christmas tree. Carlo Ancelotti loved it at Milan – maybe a little too much – and the Christmas XI loves it even more. Even if some of them were forced into unfamiliar positions (rightback is marked as a slight problem spot on any other day of the year).

Doni (Roma)
Jesus Navas (Sevilla), Ledley King (Tottenham), Matthias Rudolph (SV Babelsburg), Gregory Christ (Duisburg)
King Osei (Germinal Beerschot), Andy King (Leicester City), Noel Kaseke (Omonia)
Toy (Olhanense), Antonio Di Natale (Udinese)
Roque Santa Cruz (Man City)

Home stadium: Stadio San Nicola (Bari)

Many of the names are self-explanatory, particularly that Cape Verdean striker playing in Portugal, but a few which do require a bit of explanation:

Doni – His name in Italian translates to ‘gifts’. It should be noted he’s not Italian, but rather Brazilian. Thin spot. Also more fitting because he’s prone to giving opposing teams gifts.

Gregory Christ – Shares a surname with that Jesus guy, who is occasionally known as the reason for this Christmas business.

Antonio Di Natale – Easily the most Christmas-centric name ever: ‘Di Natale’ translates in Italian to ‘Of Christmas’. Alas, he was born in October.

(And counting is a suggested activity today.)

Surely there are more and there are better, but you’d be hard-pressed to beat those fullbacks and there’s hardly a team more festive.

So the Christmas XI, along with us, wishes you a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and many, many good jujus.

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Category: World Football