The Best of Bob: The Other Other Football

By: Daryl | November 18th, 2007

Bicycle Soccer Chris recently had the very fine idea that the four (count ‘em) people it’s taking to fill Bob’s blogging boots should all write our own tribute to the man responsible for this very site you’re reading.

So I thought long and hard about my favourite posts and kept coming back to the odd variations on football that Bob managed to locate and catalogue.

I love these posts because they represent the community spirit Bob has created on The Offside, with readers and bloggers united by their love of the beautiful game, even in its most ridiculous form. There’s a reason this is one of the few fan driven websites that doesn’t regularly descend into petty team rivalries. As well as entertaining us all on the front page, Bob has slowly but surely grown The Offside community by adding new team blogs. I’m sure the entire team of bloggers have benefited from Bob’s encouragement and advice. I know I have. And talk about commitment. Bob may be the only man alive who can rival Pippo Inzaghi for time spent in The Offside position.

And so I present the top 10 other other versions of football that we never would have known about, if not for Bob.

1. Fireball Football
“There also aren’t any free kicks because no one in their right mind would want to stand in a wall 10 yards from a flaming ball.”

2. Ice Soccer
“Just remember that according to the official rules there is no heading or slide tackling allowed. Frequent references to the movie Slapstick are encouraged, however.”

3. Vertical Soccer
“It has all the elements you would want from a game: acrobatic moves, window cleaners as athletes, and the very real possibility that the ropes will get twisted and one of the players will meet the same fate as Saddam Hussein.”

4. Nakedball: Body-painted models playing soccer
“This brief glimpse into a fascinating sport leaves us all with many questions that go unanswered. Is there an advantage to playing the sport with no clothes? How do you get to be the male keeper on the team? Why did they elect to go with three strikers?”

5. Giddyup, It’s Horse Soccer
“Those who partake in this nascent activity claim that it has the same affect as a self-help book for humans, helping horses to build their confidence and to become more sociable. I think you’ll all agree that there is nothing worse than an anti-social horse.”

6. Bossaball: Soccer Volleyball on Trampolines
“Combining the skills of capoeira, samba, breakdance, football, volleyball, acrobatics and circus on those really cool inflatable playgrounds you have at your 5th birthday party, the sport is gaining popularity on the beaches of Brazil.”

7. Bicycle Soccer
“The only question is what do you call an overhead goal scored on a bicycle? A bicycle bicycle kick?”

8. Underwater Soccer
“As far as I can tell from the video above, the sport is played much like regular soccer only each player must jump around like they are in slow motion.”

9. Jorkyball: Two-a-side Soccer in a Cage
“It looks like a good way to develop your ball skills. Too bad it is illegal to slam your opponent into the cage.”

10. Human Foosball
“Just like the miniature version, spinning is apparently not allowed, which kind of sucks.”