The Dialects of The Offside

This isn’t really football related, it’s just awesome. It’s a little service called The Dialectizer which translates all kinds of websites into different, well, dialects (whoever created this clearly has too much time on their hands, and for that we’re thankful). The dialects run as this: Redneck, jive, cockney, Elmer Fudd, Swedish chef, moron, pig latin and hacker. So basically just plug the site or phrase you want translated into the appropriate box and click away. We’ll give some choice translations from The Offside down below. You know, because it’s almost Friday and The Offside’s mission is to limit the workforce’s productivity at any cost necessary,


Jive

Original: If you’re like me, you’re undecided about who our starting right back should be. We have two good ones in Anthony Réveillère and François Clerc. They aren’t spectacular by any means, but they are solid and don’t often disappoint. (Lyon)

Translated: If youse likes me, youse undecided about who our startin’ right back should be. We gots two baaaad ones in Mojo Réveillère and François Clerc. Co’ got d’ beat! Dey ain’t spectacular by any means, but dey is solid and duzn’t often disappoint. Man!

Redneck

Original: Some news to read as you study the evolution of underwear.

Translated: Some noos t’read as yo’ study th’ evolushun of unnerwar.

Elmer Fudd

Original: Learning from Michael Ballack

At least, that’s what Arne Friedrich is theoretically doing. There has been a lot of talk about leadership at Hertha in the past month or so, with the consensus being that we need more of it. (Hertha Berlin Offside)

Translated: Weawning fwom Michaew Bawwack

At weast, that’s what Awne Fwiedwich is theoweticawwy doing. Dewe has been a wot of tawk about weadewship at Hewtha in the past monf ow so, wif the consensus being that we need mowe of it.

Swedish Chef

Original: Spurs Carling Cup win (Juande Ramos is the king of cups,) Chelsea’s Carling Cup defeat (Avram Grant’s honeymoon appears to be over,) the sad sad news about Gazza, the bad bad news about Eduardo, the question of Martin Taylor’s punishment for causing said bad bad news and the race between Real Madrid and Barcelona for the La Liga title, which is indeed on. (Podcast)

Translated: Spoors Cerleeng Coop veen (Joounde-a Remus is zee keeng ooff coops,) Chelsea’s Cerleeng Coop deffeet (Efrem Grunt’s huneymuun eppeers tu be-a oofer,) zee sed sed noos ebuoot Gezza, zee bed bed noos ebuoot Idooerdu, zee qooesshun ooff Merteen Teylur’s pooneeshment fur cooseeng seeed bed bed noos und zee rece-a betveee Reel Medreed und Berceluna fur zee La Leega teetle-a, vheech is indeed oon. Bork bork bork!

(Bork bork bork indeed.)

Pig Latin

Original: In light of Avram Grant’s recent, and well-documented shortcomings, I shall ask the question that must be on every Chelsea fan’s mind, who should be in control at Stamford Bridge (other than Roman noodles). (Chelsea Offside)

Translated: Inyay ightlay ofyay Avramyay Ant’sgray ecentray, andyay ell-documentedway ortcomingsshay, Iyay allshay askyay ethay uestionqay atthay ustmay ebay onyay everyyay Elseachay an’sfay indmay, owhay ouldshay ebay inyay ontrolcay atyay Amfordstay Idgebray (otheryay anthay Omanray oodlesnay).

Cockney

Original:Becasue given my history with missing certain games here and there, I swear that my absence from watching my beloved Millo will only lead to a… (River Plate Offside)

Translated: Becasue given me ‘istory wiv missin’ certain games ‘ere and there, I swear that me absence from wotchin’ me beluvd Millo will only lead ter a…

Hacker

Original: Well, only if you live in the KC Metro area… The team’s blog posted images of four billoards that will be up and around KC. Obviously a good move on the team’s part to help boost their public image. (Wizards Offside)

Translated: welk, 0nly 1f ypou live in thee kc metro ra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~ , OLOLOL !!!!!!!!~~~~~~~ THe T3AMS BLOG POSDTED IMAGES OF FOUR BILLOARDS tHAT WILL EB UP AND AROUND KC obviously 4 good mo\/e on the teams part to help boots theri publ1c imAge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~

Moron

Original: http://lagalaxy.theoffside.com

Translated: http://roma.theoffside.com

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Category: World Football