Football’s Diving Hall of Fame (With New Inductee).

By: chris | August 27th, 2009

How can one undo all the good will and sympathies from a near career ending injury within seconds? Do what Eduardo did against Celtic yesterday. From an object of near universal sympathy, he becomes an object of near universal shame and derision.

And with this, we need some way of compiling the worst of the worst. Those who are either repeat or offenders or those whose isolated infraction they’re fast-tracked right into infamy – both in some cases, sadly.

We’ll rattle off some of the other active members of the Diving Hall of Fame, and you can submit some of the most – or least, as it were – worthy in the comments:

(You’ll notice that Pavel Nedved only officially retired yesterday. Don’t think he didn’t see this coming.)

Rivaldo:

Does anyone know if he’s been doing this sort of thing in Uzbekistan? Does anyone care? No? Okay, moving on.

Dida:

It takes a special breed of idiocy to be caught diving as a keeper. (Dida’s certainly not the only one – even the great Iker Casillas was caught play acting recently). But only the most supreme of jackasses could be caught diving at the hand of a fan.

Alberto Gilardino

Query: what is it about Celtic that attracts Swan Lake?

Morten Gamst Pedersen

Still not quite as shameful as This Is For Real, but it’s bad.

Kun Aguero:

There might not be a singular moment yet which vaults Kun into legendary diving status, though last year’s game against Valencia might just about do it, but this boy is on his way to chairing the pantheon of greats. His bust is on order.

The Blade of Grass Heard ‘Round the World (Kris Boyd)

Cristiano Ronaldo

There are many, many, many quality dives from which to choose, but the diving/mid-air pleading to the ref is a sign of sheer genius. In slo-mo, no less.

The Italian Civil War (Luca Toni & Marco Materazzi)

For two big men, they sure go down without a great deal of difficulty.

Emerson Acuna

We’ve seen some bad dives before. This is beyond words.

Didier Drogba

To which Didier had this reply…

Knut Fostervold

With all due respect, if you put Norwegian domestic football into the headlines, it can’t be good.

Steven Gerrard

If Stevie would just shut his yap, he’d probably never get the constant hate that he does. But the fact that he throws everybody else under the bus while committing the same offenses, well…he’s just asking for his own wing.

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The Diving Hall of Fame, despite its new inductee, is still very incomplete as there have been many, many horror simulations in recent years. Have at it. (Perhaps if there are enough, we’ll have to make it a gala and have yearly inductions.)