The English Premier League and Everyone Else Sues YouTube

By: Bob | May 7th, 2007

Dear YouTube,

I am writing to inform you that my lawyers will be contacting your lawyers in the coming days. After reading about the English Premier League’s lawsuit and after learning that the King of Thailand may also take action against you, I can’t help but follow suit. You see, YouTube, you have ruined my life.

No, I am not talking about the embarrassing video of me getting an ear plug stuck in my ear that is on your site. That only ruined a couple of blind dates and undoubtedly will prevent me from ever getting a real job. That isn’t your fault. My co-workers think it is funny and refuse to take it down. I refuse to take my spoiled leftovers out of the company fridge. Call it even.

My real beef with your company is that I spend more time on your site every day than I do talking with my loved ones. Unlike what those crazy cats from the Premiership want you to believe, I actually think that your site provides a valuable service to football fans, myself included. Being able to watch goals from matches I missed, to see incredible and bizarre plays from around the world, and to watch clips of fans in stadiums both far and wide has only served to increase my passion for the Beautiful Game.

In fact, it has only led me to watch even more games in English Premier League on television each week and it has forced my eyes to view those advertisements that have helped to make the Premiership so very lucrative. Heck, I have watched so many games this year that I am sick of the adverts. I would even think about doing some online wagering and about buying some male enhancement products just so I never have to see one of those bloody ads again.

I blame you, YouTube, for ruining my weekends, causing my couch to cave in from too many hours of sitting, distracting me from doing work and for not bringing about peace in the Middle East. I blame you for exposing me to the truly horrific music that accompanies so many of those soccer highlights videos. I blame you for making me feel guilty for watching videos of 3-year-olds playing football and for forcing me to choose between Maradona and Messi.

Enough is enough YouTube. Either stop exposing me to international football or start paying me for the damage your site has caused in my life.

Sincerely,
Robert L. Kellett

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Category: World Football

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Diane

Your post sparked a spirited (panicked?) discussion around here during which we came up with the answer: if only youtube would CHARGE for copyright-holders to offer 6 minute videos of their fine product to [how many youtuber users?], they would consider it the sale of the century. Can't believe NHL are the only ones that recognize free advertising when they see it, maybe those pucks to the head didn't cause as much harm as we suspected.

p.s. Bob, the fam joins you in feeling a little guilty about letting peace in middle east slip through our fingers, as well as putting an end to hunger and social injustice of all kinds, in favor of going blind in front of the computer. I once asked Laurie as Offside offered a 12 step program for addicts -- maybe a lawsuit could fund one : ) .
yaph

Hope you will recover soon from the damage youtube caused to you and keep on writing those brilliant articles!
Trent

Ludicrous.

By the way, Bob, I did end up using the great FIFA / World Cup Blog cease-and-desist takedown of '06 as an example in the IP class I taught this Spring. Of course neutral observers understand overreaching. EPL and FIFA? Not so much.
Lester P

youtube is going to go the way of napster. i expect other sites like daily motion to replace them in the future.
Chris

Me and a thousand others will join you in a class action suit Bob.