The Offside Fantasy League: Goals, Goals, Goals (and assists)

By: Daryl | August 2nd, 2007

TH14 goal Just a week and a bit before The Offside Fantasy League gets underway. If you haven’t signed up yet, click right here to get started. And then ponder this question: where are your goals coming from?

There used to be only one man worth your imaginary money. His name was Thierry Henry and he was good for more goals and assists than anyone could handle. But that wasn’t true last season because he spent most of it injured, and it definitely isn’t true this season because he’s gone, baby, gone. So who can you trust to find the net in 2007/8? Because there’s no more TH14, here are 14 other strikers to choose from in The Offside Fantasy League.

Didier Drogba (Chelsea) 15m
The most obvious heir apparent to Henry, especially as SquadGod calculate he would have been last season’s best forward, statistically speaking. He’s big, he’s strong, he’s skillful, he scores goals. He’s even kinda pretty. What more could you ask for?

Andriy Shevchenko (Chelsea) 12.2m
It’s no secret that Sheva was rubbish last season. But it was only a year ago that he was the best striker in the world, so it’s not entirely impossible that he’s now settled in London and ready to bang in a hatful of goals. If you’re willing to gamble 12.2m on that happening then good luck to you. With Chelsea playing 4-3-3 it’s more likely Sheva will be starting the season in the dugout.

Robin van Persie (Arsenal) 12m
The man was on fire for the first part of last season (don’t worry, it’s just a metaphor) before injury cut the Dutchman short (again, metaphor.) But if this goal against Inter Milan is anything to go by, he could be in for a monster 2007/8

Eduardo da Silva (Arsenal) 11m
The Brazilian/Croatian is the man Wenger signed to replace Thierry Henry, sort of. He may not have the same Va Va Voom or whatever, but he did score enough goals to sink a boat in the Croatian league (73 goals in 104 games for Dinamo Zagreb apparently.) If he can replicate those numbers in the Premiership he’ll be another genius Arsene Wenger signing. If not he’ll be just another Franny Jeffers.

Wayne Rooney (Man Utd) 15m
Doesn’t get as many goals as Double D, but quite literally makes up for it with his all round play by getting lots and lots of assists. Enough to make him last season’s second best point scoring forward. Roonaldo is another year older in 2007/8 and has looked deadly on Man Utd’s Asian tour. But then again so has Chris Eagles.

Beni McCarthy (Blackburn) 12.5m
Blackburn may not have the glamour of Chelsea or Man Utd, but Mark Hughes is putting together a very respectable team. A big part of that is Beni McCarthy and all his goals. The great thing about McCarthy is that if he’s fit he’s starting for Blackburn no matter what. Only downside is that he may not get as many chances this year now Premiership defenders know how dangerous he is. And there’s still an outside chance he could get sold.

Dimitar Berbatov (Spurs) 13m
He’s classy, there’s no doubt about it. And he can finish too. And if 2006/7 was just Berbatov settling in then Premiership defenders will be having Dimitar themed nightmares. But will Martin Jol’s love of rotation limit his goalscoring opportunities? Mido may be gone (Sunderland I believe, where he’ll get yelled at by Roy Keane for every pound of excess blubber) but there’s still Jermaine Defoe, Robbie Keane and Darren Bent to keep happy. Speaking of which…

Darren Bent (Spurs) 12m
He cost a similar amount to Henry, so he’s roughly as good, correct? I’m sure Benty himself would argue otherwise, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a top striker. If he could do the business in a not particularly attacking Charlton side these past few seasons then he should score about 400 for Spurs this season.

Fernando Torres (Liverpool) 12.5m
Liverpool spent a weighty 20m on the youngish Spanish striker, and you can get him for roughly half of that. But is he worth it? Despite being a very very impressive footballer he’s never been genuinely prolific in front of goal. And we’re still waiting to see a successful Spanish striker in the Premiership (Fernando Morientes’ failure at Liverpool was a genuine shock.) My feeling is that he’ll take a season or so to settle in at Anfield, but I’ve been wrong many many times.

Nicolas Anelka (Bolton) 11.5m
He doesn’t seem like the friendliest fella, and he’s about as loyal as Jack Nicholson, but Anelka will score goals. Just not as many as Thierry Henry. For example he only got 11 last year in 35 games. Not bad obviously, but not good enough to make you The Offside Fantasy League champion.

Mark Viduka (Newcastle) 11m
The big-boned Australian scored 14 goals in 29 games for Middlesbrough last year, believe it or not, and there’s no doubt that Mark Viduka has got the skills to pay the bills. The only question is whether he can be bothered. When he’s up for it, he looks unstoppable. When he’s not in the mood he looks unstartable.

Michael Owen (Newcastle) 12m
He’s arguably the best finisher in the whole of the Premier League. He’s also the most injury prone. Don’t believe me? He’s injured right now. But he’s definitely worth adding as one of your favourites, so that when he finds form you can use one of your transfers to get him in. Then when he gets re-injured you can take him out again.

Andy Johnson (Everton) 11m
Though England managers seem convinced he’s some sort of right-winger, AJ has proven time and time again that he’s all about being a striker. 11 goals in 32 games last season wasn’t quite up to his Crystal Palace heyday, but if there’s one little bald man I’d back to dive in the box and get a penalty, then this is him.

Ayegbeni Yakubu (Middlesbrough) 12m
There’s no doubting The Yak’s talents, it’s the guys around him I don’t trust. There’s just not enough creativity going on. But if Jeremie Aliadiere can finally deliver now he’s getting some regular action then these two could form a strong man (Yak) fast man (Aliadiere) partnership and goals could flow. Could.

Right now it seems we can’t look at each others teams in The Offside Fantasy League. I’m not sure whether that will change or not once the season starts. So in the interest of discussion and limited information sharing, I’m willing to admit that I’ve gone all out and blown a substantial percentage of my budget on a hopefully goaltastic Didier Drogba – Wayne Rooney combo. My reasoning is that both Chelsea and Man Utd will be looking to start strong, and that should translate into goals from their two main strikers. But as with any expensive purchase, I may live to regret such extravagance.

Is anyone else brave enough to disclose who they’ve trusted to get their goals?