The Secret Behind Ronaldo’s Stunning New Head of Hair

By: Martha | November 20th, 2007

Such lush tresses.In case you’ve missed it (and missing it would be understandable, given that he’s not played a competitive match since last June), Ronaldo — the one with the thyroid problems, not the pretty one — is sporting a magnificent near-afro these days, a far cry from the bald look he worked for ages.

The story out of Milan until today has been that he’s been growing his locks as a favor to Silvio Berlusconi, who wanted him to look more cuddly (there’s a slight chance he didn’t use that word exactly), but now, thanks to a Brazilian newspaper, the truth has come out: The secret, friends, is Crescina.

What’s Crescina, you ask? Well, according to O Globo, it’s the hair-growth product a certain well-rounded Brazilian has been using to change his hair from non-existent to completely banging. It “will have no effect on totally atrophied hair follicles,” though, so you can rest assured that Ronaldo’s were still kicking — they just needed the right Swiss serum to make them realize life really is still worth living.

Not only does he now have hair worth bragging about, but the Milan striker is also so happy with the product that he’s agreed to shill for it, albeit it probably very far away from our prying eyes. You know how half of Hollywood secretly does ads for random coffee companies in Asia? Well, this is going to be like that, except with a hair-growth product. In fact, Ronaldo’s already on the task, allegedly telling a Chinese news agency that his Cescina-created fro “may even help me score more headers.” God, he’s a natural! I can see the ads now: Big grin, maybe a Chia Pet or two in the background? It’s gold, Jerry!

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Comments  

  • Anders |  November 20th, 2007 at 7:24 am

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    I think he looks great with the new hair. Almost as great as Jan Ullrich just before he was banned from tour de france 2006

    Posted from Denmark Denmark

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  • Laurie |  November 20th, 2007 at 7:35 am

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    Anders, I wondered about the steroid issue as well. But surely no footballer would ever be so dumb as to…

    Never mind.

    Posted from United States United States

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  • riccardo |  January 5th, 2008 at 7:38 pm

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    real news were already shown here with some extra..go and take a peek..hilarious!
    http://ronaldosecret.blogspot.com/

    Posted from United States

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  • Shaun Lake |  April 1st, 2008 at 4:21 am

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    Anyone know the diffrence between shaving your head and actually being bald? Ronaldo is a scam artist whos hoping to grab some headlines and a bountiful check for endorsing a product that he never needed, someone show me a photo of Ronaldo with an actual bald spot , you see the fact is this SWISS company is just as much to blame cause sooner or later someone like myself will go back and look at the videos of Ronaldo 5 years ago till now and realize that he only SHAVED his hair WHY ? perhaps a lot of reasons , but his hair is like a Gorilla, Super thick and out of control always,it takes a gallon of hot oil to keep that fro under control. Now if this Swiss Company wanted to impress the world for real they would have offered Z Zindane the contract, because as you look at his photos, his frontal scalp has hair but the rear portion has the round bald spot signifying male pattern baldness, if Zindane started to use this product and it worked to fill that spot in , the Swiss company would truly be on the frontline and their sales would globally skyrocket for obvious resons, however , using Ronaldo as a client , is a hoax that will be discovered ,make the papers and the Swiss company will lose millions on sales and lose their credability.Do the research yourself and look at the diffrence between ronaldo and Zindane, both shaving their heads, you can still see that Z Zindane had the halo effect on the rear of his scalp even though he shaved his head close, Ronaldo never , repeat never had this halo , therefore never suffered from hair loss, and its funny to seethis guy endorse the product like hes Antonio Banderas, thinking hes all hot with girls all around him , his hair is soo thick in the back and oiled up it looks like hes wearing a WIG, judge for yourself everyone look at the videos of Ronaldo 5 or 10 years ago and tell me , and then look at Zindane and compare…the swiss Company even if the product works has tryed to pull a fast one on the european community, thinking were stupid, shame on them, they should have got real clients if the product is that good like Hans the singer from the Scorpoions, or Phil Collins, real people who suffer from hair loss, not a guy who has hair like King Kong…His whole life, thats why he shaved his head, cause people woulmd have named him Kong instead of Ronaldo

    Posted from United States

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