There’s A New Jacques Cousteau In Town.

By: chris | May 18th, 2009

Is there a widely accepted most regal of kingly divers? Hard to say. One of the Prem boys: Cristiano Ronaldo, Robin Van Persie or Didier Drogba? Pavel Nedved’s surely due a lifetime achievement award at some point in the near future. Alberto Gilardino will never rid himself of the stench from that fateful day in Glasgow. If a tree falls in an Uzbekistan wood, does it make a sound? Even if that tree’s name is Rivaldo?

A name which has been quietly lingering, nosily prodding his way to the big boys’ table, sniper-shot himself to diving superstardom this weekend as he subsequently shot Atletico up the La Liga table and into football’s lotto position. Come on down, Kun Aguero.

Talk of the Spanish town is the dive (1:00 in his How To tutorial above) which won the penalty which took the score to 1-0 which won the game which vaulted Atletico above Valencia into the life-or-death fourth Champions League spot with two games remaining which may inevitably force cash-strapped Los Che to sell of all their stars along with the kitchen sink.

Suffice it to say it was a massive dive; the likes of which may irrevocably change the fate of an entire club.

But it wasn’t just the one dive by Kun Aguero which has vaulted him into the pantheon of all-time greats and etched into diving lore. It was a 90 minute 400m individual medley performance of diving class, variation, ingenious and vision from an unfathomably skilled player of class, variation, ingenious and vision. One which damn near won him the dubious honor that I’ve personally never had the good fortune of viewing: twice being carded for simulation resulting in a pouty dash to the showers. Only one came, however. Incredulously if you ask Kun.

Of course it wasn’t an unjust result – merely unjust means. 36 year old Cesar Sanchez forgetting he’s 36 year old Cesar Sanchez was the only thing which kept Valencia in the game – aside from Simao’s indifference – and fans aware that there were actually two teams kicking about a ball. But it was to be Kun’s moment, Kun’s day.

So you can put away, momentarily, the Ronaldo and Drogba missiles. For a golden child has arrived on the horizon to assume his throne. And he’s going down.