

Tom Cruise in $80 million LA Galaxy Takeover Bid. Ha
By: Bob | June 21st, 2007
There have been a lot of silly stories in the never ending build up to David Beckham’s debut in MLS. We’ve read about how flying on an airplane could end his career, we’ve seen his wife without a bra, with a baseball and largely without a brain, and we have even investigated the great Beckham penis controversy. These have all been mild diversions to what is the real story: Scientology’s takeover of American soccer.
In a tabloid report that is almost as predictable as it is unbelievable and that of course fails to name any actual sources, the Daily Star has revealed that Tom Cruise is eager to buy a chunk of his best friend forever’s new team.
FOOTBALL-mad Tom Cruise is launching a £40million bid to take over pal David Beckham’s new team LA Galaxy.
Tom, 44, has indicated that he is keen to plough the cash into the up-and-coming squad, with the promise of more to come.
Apparently we are supposed to believe that this is going to happen because Tom went to watch Real Madrid play last week and that he is so smitten with his new buddy that he would want to spend $80 million on a soccer team that is run by Alexi Lalas.
Surely Tom Cruise isn’t that crazy? Or is he?
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Comments
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Yes.
I heard he keeps Katie Holmes chained to the floor, has put in a bid for Area 51, and never did the dirty with Nicole Kidman.
Posted from
United States

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Becks, Tomkat and L. Ron Hubbard are the perfect storm.
Posted from
United States

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You may have beaten me in posting this article, but MY post includes phrases like, “While the transactions of the moglie of the English centrocampista do not go to swollen sails…”
Can you say the same? I think not.
Posted from
United States

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I am leaving the country. After all, Mr. Cruise IS said to have spent $35 million on a house in the Beckham’s new neighborhood a couple of weeks after they bought theirs. Coincidence, salacious rumors, you never know…but if it is true, what’s $80 million for a national franchise? I’m packing.
I should also go talk to Laurie about doing a post on restraining orders–she mentions them quite frequently– just in case ALL of this cruiseattention is not COMPLETELY welcome.
Oy VEY!!!!!!!!!
Posted from


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How long before David Beckham gets roped into Scientology by the chief Grand-Daddy High-Priest Lord Cruise? I give it about 25 seconds after touch-down in La-La Land.
Posted from
Australia

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