Top 10 Dumbest Football Injuries

By: Daryl | September 29th, 2008

Stoke’s Liam Lawrence could miss next weekend’s game against Portsmouth with an ankle injury – after falling over his own dog (not pictured).

A stupid way to injure yourself no doubt, but not quite brainless enough to make our top 10 Dumbest Football Injuries list:

In no particular order…

1. Spanish goalkeeper Santiago Canizares missed out on the 2002 World Cup when he dropped a bottle of cologne on his foot and a shard of glass severed the tendon in his right foot.

2. One-time England keeper Dave Beasant did a similar trick with a jar of mayonnaise (or salad cream, depending on who you ask) and damaged his big toe. Great handling skills guys.

3. Former Aston Villa left back Alan Wright is not a tall man. In fact he’s very very short. So short that he had to stretch to reach the accelerator in his shiny new Ferrari, and strained his knee doing it. I can’t think of a better metaphor for average footballer’s being vastly overpaid.

4. In 2004, Servette midfielder Paulo Diogo lost his finger jumping into the crowd to celebrate a goal. His wedding ring got caught on the fencing and ripped his digit clean off. Now Tthat’s what you call an ouchy.

5. American keeper Kasey Keller (what is wrong with goalkeepers?) once knocked out his front teeth while removing the golf clubs from his car a little too enthusiastically

6. Back in 2002 Darius Vassell tried some DIY surgery to pop a blood blister with a drill. Vassell does not have the letters “Dr.” before his name, so surprise, surprise… he ended up drilling a hole in his big toe which got infected. Stick to goal-poaching Darius.

7. Brazilian striker Ramalho was once bed-ridden for three days after swallowing something doctors had given him to treat a dental condition. Why is this dumb? Because it was a suppository, that’s why.

8. Hajduk Split’s Milan Rapaic missed the start of the 1995/96 season after he sticking his boarding-pass in his eye at an airport.

9. In 1975, Man Utd keeper Alex Stepney was yelling at his defence so hard that he dislocated his jaw and had to be replaced. And you thought Peter Schmeichel was bad.

10. Everton’s Richard Wright was warming up to face Chelsea in the FA Cup, but twisted his ankle falling over a sign. Bonus points for irony: the sign warned players not to warm up in the goalmouth: