Transfer Talk: Eto’o to Madrid, Muntari’s Left Foot to Inter and Medication for Calderon

By: Daryl | July 24th, 2008

Do you have a pinch of salt handy? Good, you’re going to need it. Time for some more summer Transfer Talk…

Real Madrid are interested in signing unwanted Barcelona striker Samuel Eto’o, despite the Cameroonian leaving the Bernabéu on very bad terms last time. I honestly think there’s more chance of Eto’o going to Uzbekistan than returning to Real.

Spurs are prepared to give Man Utd a giant middle finger by selling Dimitar Berbatov to AC Milan for £25m, which is £5m less than they quoted the Reds. Doesn’t make great financial sense, but for £5m Juande Ramos 1) gets to screw over Fergie and 1) won’t have to face Berbatov twice a season.

Jose Mourinho looks to have given up on his romantic reunion with Chelsea’s Frank Lampard Jnr. happening this season, and so has instead bid £12.7m of Inter sugar daddy Massimo Moratti’s money for Portmouth’s Sulley Muntari. Which means there’ll be a few less long range left footed strikes to enjoy in the Premier League in 2008/9, but a few more in Serie A.

Blackburn’s Brad Friedel can’t sign for Aston Villa until Paul Robinson gets himself from White Hart Lane to Ewood Park. Quite how Blackburn fans will feel about going from safe-hands Friedel to crazy-hands Robbo is anyone’s guess.

And here is the long running, semi-depressing transfer “news” along with some proposed Offside solutions:

Emmanuel Adebayor still wants out of Arsenal, but neither AC Milan nor Barcelona are keen to pay ArseneWenger’s (ridiculous) asking fee of £37.5 million for him.
Solution: Straight swap with Barca for Samuel Eto’o. Everybody’s happy.

Gareth Barry still wants out of Aston Villa (and was booed by Villa fans recently in the friendly against Walsall) but Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez is haggling over Martin O’Neill’s 18m asking price.
Solution: Pay up Rafa

Here’s how Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon’s version of the neverending Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid transfer rumour shenanigans: “‘We don’t have anything to say about that issue,’ he said. ‘We are only spectators, a passive observer in this whole story. It is the player and the club who are talking about a possible problem, we are unconnected to all that.”
Solution: Some sort of heavy medication.