Transfer Talk: Hammers Get Bent, Juve Boots Camoranesi, an MLS Trade

By: Bob | June 13th, 2007

Following all of the transfer talk from the world of football is as dizzying as an amusement park ride without the fun of getting to throw up on an innocent stranger below. Instead, you get to read the headlines and throw up in your mouth. It is a wonder how we all survive the silly season. Take a deep breath, fasten your seatbelts and get ready to go on a ride through today’s transfer talk.

According to reports that may or may not turn out to be true, West Ham have won the Darren Bent lottery and they only needed to buy 18 million pounds worth of scratch off tickets to do so. If it that is indeed the case, the Hammers have brought tears to the eyes of Tottenham and Liverpool who were also said to be in the race for the Charlton striker.

Nine out of ten dentists agree that Preston striker David Nugent will make a Premiership team look brighter and healthier. The question is which team will the 22-year-old end up on. Everton have been the front runner since he was just a thought in his parents’ mind, but it now looks like Sunderland are ready to join the fray.

You think you have credit card debt problems? Arsenal are reportedly willing to go 40 million pounds into debt to bring Ajax striker Ryan Babel to North London. The Babel to Arsenal rumors have been going on for decades now. I’ll chip in a few quid just to make them stop one way or the other.

With Mark Viduka gone, Middlesbrough had a big hole to fill in the, erm, middle, so they decided to sign Tuncay Sanli. The 25-year-old Turkish international with 43 caps to his name has scored 59 goals for his club Fenerbache.

You know who doesn’t want to play in the Premiership? David Villa, that’s who. While we are at it, Samuel Eto’o doesn’t want to leave Barcelona. End of story. Until tomorrow when we likely will hear otherwise.

If they have any money left over, the Gunners might also try to bring in David Trezeguet from Juventus. Apparently this would make TH14 happy or maybe he would serve as a replacement for TH14. In either case, I have no clue why I have started referring to him as TH14. This must stop now.

Speaking of players leaving the Old Lady, 30-year-old Italian World Cup winner Mauro Camoranesi is both “disappointed and bitter” that Juventus don’t love him any more. I can relate. I’m disappointed and bitter that my local ice cream store doesn’t carry its double chocolate brownie ice cream anymore.

Every championship side needs at least one player from Honduras and now that Inter Milan have signed David Suazo from Cagliari they have reached their quota.

Chris over on the AS Roma Offside reports that his favorite club has officially signed their first target of the season, Romanian winger Adrian Pit from second division Swiss club Bellinzona, a team whose name just rolls off your tongue. Go ahead and say it out loud. Bellinzona.

You know that Celtic are going to sign some players. Here’s a look at a few possibilities.

With Bayern Munich buying all the available talent in sight, what are the competitors in the Bundesliga doing? Not much, unless you consider sitting on the couch all day eating Nutella and watching Baywatch reruns doing a lot. I certainly do.

Toronto FC made their 700th trade today, dealing forward Edson Buddle to the LA Galaxy in exchange for defender Tyrone Marshall. Buddle will have the responsibility of scoring goals for the Galaxy while Landon Donovan is off serving his country and David Beckham is off serving Scientology.

The price tag for Lyon winger Florent Malouda is now 17 million pounds. I wouldn’t pay a cent more than 16.99 million for him.

Lest we forget that the same rumors, speculation and other nonsense occurred at this very time last season, a guy with a higher academic degree than you and I has compiled a list of the best English Premier League transfers in 2006/2007.