Transfer Talk: No Luque, No Young, Plenty of Ronaldo

By: Bob | January 15th, 2007

It is that time of year again when the rumors are hot and heavy and fiction becomes reality. We’ll do our best to help you stay on top of all the latest, greatest and lamest winter transfer window news. Here are some Grade A nibbles from the football transfer world today.

West Ham want Watford young gun Ashley Young more than a little girl wants a pony for her birthday. Alas, Young does not want West Ham and has reportedly turned down an offer to leave one struggling team for another. Rejection hurts. I’m still trying to overcome the pain of being denied a dance by a cheerleader during high school.

After reading all the headlines that described Newcastle forward Albert Lugue as the second coming of the Antichrist, it should come as no surprise that PSV Eindhoven have put away the garlic and given up on taking Luque on loan.

Will somebody please take Ronaldo already? AC Milan could take the striker off of Real Madrid’s hands for the “right conditions,” while Juventus are reportedly willing to steal the rotund one away from Al Ittihad. Real Madrid continue to revel in the fun and say that nothing is imminent, which means we might have two more weeks of Ronaldo rumors. Yipeeeeeeeee!

Personally I prefer strip-o-grams and whiskey for my birthday, but Chinese winger Sun Xiang asked for a transfer to PSV Eindhoven and his club Shanghai Shenhua gave him what he wanted for his 25th birthday.

Middlesbrough are eager to get their grubby little paws on Lee Dong-gook, who has been described as the ‘South Korean Wayne Rooney’. Can’t wait to read his five volume autobiography too.

Andy Griffin is leaving the Mayberry that is Portsmouth to join Stoke. Griffin said: “It’s a great move for me as my family only live 20 minutes from the club.” Opie was not available for comment. Ok, that joke would work better if he changed his last name to Griffith. Could someone ask him to do that please?

Werder Bremen are keen on landing striker John Carew from Lyon. Just about every time I have seen the Norwegian giant Carew play he has scored. Maybe Werder Bremen should hire me to watch their games too? I’m available for $250 million over five years.

Georgian international Gogita Gogua will need to brush up on his Lithuanian now that he is on the verge of signing with Hearts. By the way, people in Georgia have a reputation for speaking Russian with a very funny accent. They also are some of the best comedians around. I thought you should know that.

What could Rangers need more than anything else in the world? A 36-year-old defender by jolly. David Weir is in talks to go play for the Scottish club and his former manager Walter Smith after becoming bored at Everton.

Stuart Pearce doesn’t like Manchester City to be the victims of extortion and that is what he thinks Chelsea are doing by setting such a high asking price for Shaun-Wright Phillips. Negotiating ploy or is this deal dead? I vote for dead.

Brazilian playmaker Marcelinho will return to the Bundesliga, joining VfL Wolfsburg this month from Turkish first division team Trabzonspo. He previously played for Hertha and was a stud on the pitch and a headache off of it. The German tabloids are happy he has returned.

They play a bit of football in Brazil and as a consequence their players end up all over the world. Today the Brazilian striker Serginho is leaving Corinthians for the bright lights and big city of Oita Trinita in Japan.

The United States might not be big enough for two goldielocks. Will Pavel Nedved leave Juventus to play for the Chicago Fire? Forgetaboutit, he’s more likely to announce his retirement for the 7,000th time.

Romania international goalkeeper Bogdan Lobont is set to leave Fiorentina and sign a three-year contract for a second spell at Dinamo Bucharest. He’ll be one of the highest paid players in Romania, meaning he might be able to afford food from time to time.

The transfer rumors are fast and furious in the Balkans and out friends over at Jadran Sport have it covered like white on rice.