Transfer Talk: No Means No.

Chelsea, unaware that no means no, made a silly bid for Alexandre Pato which was firmly rejected (they say “English club”, but they’re not fooling anyone). Then Silvio Berlusconi all but offered up Andrea Pirlo to London due to his silly wages, but Andrea and his hair are not interested in moving away from Milan. So it looks like the only Milan studs Roman will be able to claim this summer are Carlo Ancelotti and Sheva’s wages.

You win some, you lose some.

Real Madrid, apparently now aware that defense does matter somewhat, have signed Raul Albiol from Valencia. So that’s three signings now and three players with an incredible penchant for putting the ball in the back of the net. Unfortunately for Real, Albiol’s tend to wind up in his own. Matches at the Bernabeu should be glorious this year.

Carlitos Tevez is nearing closer and closer to Citeh as everyone is wondering…why the hell can’t Chelsea buy anyone anymore?

Manchester United, in their newfound bid to buy young quality, have earmarked Giuseppe Rossi and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to take the team forward. They’ve got the buyback option on Giuseppe Rossi, which could be fairly straightforward, but the price of an apology for that “wouldn’t sell them a virus” comment now that Real’s got the leverage might be a bit steep.

And they appear to be taking this whole shift-of-power to Spain thing a bit harshly, as Sergio Aguero has wound up on their grocery list as well. Either that or they feel the need to replace Ronaldo’s diving antics with his Argentinean stunt double.

Lucas Viatri, 22yo Boca Juniors forward and accused scissor thief, is wanted by HSV, a club who’ve never seen a transfer rumor they didn’t feel like sticking their nose into.

Speaking of, Bayern could net a fairly decent profit by offloading Tim Borowski to Hamburg, Wolfsburg or, gasp, Werder Bremen – the club he left to join Bayern on a free. Perhaps he can work on that mumbled apology upon reentry to the locker room.

And while that’s going on, Ajax & HSV continue to tussle over the new Arjen Robben, Eljero Elia, who is way, way faster than you.

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Category: Transfer Talk, World Football