Transfer Talk: Sheva to AC Milan, Henry to Barcelona, Kaka to Madrid, Repeat…

By: Bob | June 15th, 2007

It is Friday and I have a sinking suspicion that football journalists have mailed it in for the weekend. How else can you explain the huge headlines exclaiming the same old rumors that we have been reading for months now? These can’t possibly be any more true this time around than they were the first 7,000 times we read them, can they? Truth, fiction and everything else in between. Here’s a rundown of the transfer talk from today.

Silvio Berlusconi’s love affair with Andriy Shevchenko flickers like a candle in the wee hours of the morning. Today the AC Milan chief proclaimed that the striker who slipped away to Chelsea may just in fact return to the San Siro once again. I suspect tomorrow we will read headlines proclaiming this not to be true. And then next week it will be true again.

Speaking of endless sagas, the courtship of Ricky Kaka continues in earnest with Real Madrid ready to spend the GDP of Moldova to bring the God-fearing lad to Spain. As has been the case the 900 previous times this has been reported, Milan have said they would rather watch the Victoria Beckham coming to America show on repeat loop for three weeks straight than sell their once virgin star.

We all have been told that Thierry Henry is not going to Barcelona. His agent is going to report France Football magazine for reporting that to be the case. Is he going to sue Arsene Wenger too now that the Arsenal manager has met with Barca to start working out the transfer? And while he is at it he can sue Lilian Thuran for being the 30th Barcelona player to say that having Henry on the team would be just peachy keen.

Jerzy Dudek will not be sitting on the Liverpool bench picking his nose next season. The Polish international instead could be on the Real Madrid bench hoping that the number one keeper gets injured so he can get some playing time.

France’s keeper Gregory Coupet reports that he was *this* close to leaving Lyon last week for parts unknown, but he evidently had a change of mind. His teammate at Lyon, Thiago, is wanted by many including Juventus who seemingly are linked to every player in the world.

The Chicago Fire have reportedly offered Chilean forward Marcelo Salas a contract but it appears that he would rather return to his Universidad de Chile club than pick up an MLS retirement check.

You remember how all the headlines said that Darren Bent was going to West Ham? That was two days ago. Today they are saying that he has rejected the Hammers and that Tottenham are the frontrunners. All of this talk is getting some bent out of shape. Get it? Bent out of shape…oh the fun…

Serbian champions Red Star Belgrade have signed midfielder Joao Lucas from Portuguese first division side Boavista on a free transfer

Serbian first division side Partizan Belgrade have signed midfielder Juca from Brazilian club Botafogo on a two-year contract with the option of extending it for another year.

Roma have added a gladiator which will come in handy if they reintroduce lions into sports, which is something I have been advocating for ages.

Wigan would like to someday reach the promised land and they think that Dutch midfielder Mario Melchio will help lead them there. He joins the club on a free transfer from Rennes.

Birmingham are keen on signing defender Liam Ridgewell which would be an act of treason in the eyes of Aston Villa fans.