Transfer Talk: There’s a Boa on the Loose

By: Bob | January 5th, 2007

It is that time of year again when the rumors are hot and heavy and fiction becomes reality. We’ll do our best to help you stay on top of all the latest, greatest and lamest winter transfer window news. Here are some Grade A nibbles from the football transfer world today.

And the first signing of the Alan Curbishley at West Ham era is….Luis Boa Morte. The Portuguese Fulham striker is moving across town to help lead the struggling Hammers back to glory, or at least the middle of the table. By my unofficial count, this is the 700th move made by Fulham this transfer period.

One rumored Fulham move appears to be dead with word that Standard Liege and U.S. international defender Oguchi Onyewu is unlikely to join the rest of the US national team at Cottage Craven. Onyewu’s play and potential has bumped up his club’s asking price so now AC Milan has jumped into the fray. Sadly, the Colorado Rapids have not been able to find enough coins under the couch to make an offer.

That retched smell coming from Spain lately has been the play of Sociedad. Will getting Savio on loan from Flamengo leave them smelling like roses? Probably not, but it is worth a gamble.

Bayern Munich wants 30 Million Euros for Owen Hargreaves. I want firmer, flatter abs. Neither of those things is going to happen this January.

Portly Australia and Middlesbrough striker Mark Viduka’s name is being bandied about quite a bit with the latest speculation that Serie A side Genoa would like to pay for his service. Viduka playing in a land of great pasta could make for a very interesting situation and increase the sales of Ronaldo’s diet book.

Coventry striker Stern John could be bringing some of his Soca Warriors magic to Birmingham if the reports are to be believed, which means this probably won’t happen.

How the fuck could Charlton give up Darren Bent just because he will be injured until February? Enjoy your relegation.

A few days ago Gianluigi Buffon merely mentioned he’d like to see Juventus become a serious player in Serie A next year or he might bolt so it is time to go ahead and proclaim him the next Arsenal keeper. Gotta love the transfer period.

This just in, Hearts want a player who isn’t from Lithuania. He is Serbia’s Ognjen Koroman, currently on loan at Portsmouth.

The Macedonian goal scoring machine known as Boban Jancevski is free for the taking so please, someone, anyone, take him.

Finally, Luis Figo is going to Saudi Arabia after the Serie A season. At least that is the word today. Personally, I think they hired a Figo impersonator to appear in the photo.