Transfer Talk: Youth Is Served.

By: chris | May 22nd, 2009

Liverpool mounted a €22m bid, which was then firmly swatted away by Aurelio De Lorentiis with a Dikembe Mutumbo finger wag, for Argentinian wild child Ezequiel Lavezzi. Excuse me, that’s twice-capped Argentinian wild child Ezequiel Lavezzi.

Can we take a moment and ponder how filthily good Argentina’s attack will be in the coming years? That’s €11m per cap. Insanity.

And should Rafa be feeling downhearted, fret not – it’s never a bad thing to fail in a bid on a player who has a gun tattooed into an imaginary holster on his body. At some point, those decision making abilities are going to falter spectacularly. (Oh wait.)

While Chelsea ponder the possibility of poaching the real Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Inter do their best to keep him, they’re both fighting over the ‘next Zlatan Ibrahimovic‘ in Marko Arnautovic of FC Twente. In the process sending sensationalist outfits into a brain-melting tizzy at the prospect of a ‘real so-and-so’ in the same team with the ‘next so-and-so’. (Gazzetta just imploded.)

Chelsea will then move onto Maicon with a £22m check in hand in their neverending quest for a Portuguese-speaking right back not named Paulo Feirrera. (That would be Belletti, Bosingwa and the pursuits of Dani Alves and Maicon, yes?) Though if you ask Maicon, that quest will continue on.

In that very same article ‘Brede Hangeland‘, ‘Arsenal’ and ‘£15m’ were seen in the same sentence. Maybe Arsene should just go back to buying French-speaking children – stick with what you do best.

A few years ago Argie deep-seated playmaker Lucas Biglia was praised for choosing tons of minutes at Anderlecht rather than spending his oh-so-important youth playing ‘find the hotties in the stands’ on the bench of a big club. Three years later, he’s faded into relative obscurity – what with playing in Belgium and all. And now he might go to Birmingham, where he’ll fade into even more obscurity.

Corinthians are aiming to bring Guti across the pond to join Ronaldo in Brazil. Make your own transvestite jokes.

The recently promoted club would also like Ze Roberto (nullifying that ‘tranny tryst required’ theory…..we think), whose list of suitors reads Corinthians, Sao Paolo, Santos and the LA Galaxy. Tough getting old, isn’t it?

Jurgen Klinsmann will land on his feet at Hoffeinheim, if you believe Bild (you shouldn’t), where absolutely nothing will be his fault.

And finally, if you’re wondering where all the Ryan Babel rumors are, this is why….