Transfer Window Cleaner: Tottenham gets French Theo and Porn Star

That draft you felt this morning wasn’t the breeze coming from your friend who is snoring and still passed out on the couch, but rather the cool winds coming through the now open football winter transfer window. The comings and goings of players is always time for pee-your-pants type of excitement, so we’re going to do our best in these parts to wipe away the dirt so that you can see through the window clearly.

The big player in today’s transfer action is apparently Tottenham. The Spurs have received 17-year-old midfielder Adel Taarabt on loan from Lens. Taarabt hasn’t seen much time at Lens, but he has been labeled the French version of Theo Walcott, which means he probably will look good on the Tottenham bench and he’ll probably see his girlfriend splashed around the tabloids a bit.

Tottenham also has gobbled up the rights to Sunderland goalkeeper Ben Alnwick. The 20-year-old keeper and part time amateur porn star is highly rated by those who have seen him action. In return, Sunderland gets the young Hungarian keeper Marton Fulop.

The transfer period is always a time for teams to say one thing and do another. Today we learn that Celtic is not especially interested in adding to their team and then we learn that Celtic is keen to add to their team.

The confusion over where Luis Figo’s mail should be forwarded in the future continues on for another day as some desperately hope that the done deal in Saudi Arabia is not really done.

If you are one of the three people who spend your waking hours thinking about Sven-Goran Eriksson’s future, you’ll be pleased to know that the man who led England to mediocrity is still weighing his options. Maybe he could go to Tottenham and not play the French Walcott too.

Meanwhile, West Ham’s Javier Mascherano will not be exiled to Serie B according to those in the know at Juventus. Somehow I get the feeling that Mascherano’s name is going to be one frequently mentioned this transfer period as West Ham tries to do something to make themselves less miserable.

There is speculation that the Asian Maradona, Ali Karimi, will be leaving Bayern Munich to go to that oasis known as the United Arab Emirates. My mother always told me to be wary of the Persian press rumors so don’t go out and buy that Karimi UAE shirt quite yet.

And finally, the Human Windmill Peter Crouch says that by golly he really does enjoy life at Liverpool and he’d like to continue playing there until they find a grave big enough to bury him.

Got some more transfer news, rumors and views? Leave a comment or shoot an email to bob[at]theoffside.com.

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Category: World Football

Tags: Adel Taarabt, Ali Karimi, Ben Alnwick, Celtic, Javier Mascherano, Luis Figo, Marton Fulop, Peter Crouch, Sven-Goran Eriksson, Tranfers, World Football, World Soccer

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