Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion: Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho

By: Laurie | July 10th, 2008

I should be the last person on earth in to pass judgment on another’s fashion sense. Don’t think I don’t know this. Because as I’ve said before? I was not a Barbie doll girl.

Okay, again, technically untrue. I owned one. But the first thing I did when I got her was throw all those itty bitty pointy shoes in the garbage, because they @#$%ing pissed me off. Then I spent the rest of her short life trying to make her ride horses. Barefoot and naked. Because she no longer had shoes, and you try to get Barbie on a horse when she’s wearing one of those tight dress things.

(However, if you should ever come across a Barbie in dire need of emergency action because her leg has become detached at the hip? You have come to the right place. I am a professional.)

But it’s July, and there is NOTHING going on, and even I can tell when egregious crimes are being committed. And there are some crimes are so heinous that they need to be called out in public. (Because even mass murderers don’t stop until they’re caught.)

First, up above, I bring you: Thierry Henry. I actually blame him for all of this, because he started it. This photo is the oldest. I guess he thought that the tie made it fancy dress?

Next up, Henry’s France teammate, Claude Makélélé. (Pictured here with his lovely supermodel wife, Noemie Lenoir, who is, as always, a vision. I am trying to amass enough good karma so that in my next life I can come back as Noemie. Except that I don’t think I’d marry Claude.)

Maké has apparently been taking fashion tips from Titi. Normally, this would be a good thing. In this case, though? Please.

Next up? What the hell is up with Sergio Ramos’s shorts? Are they supposed to…um…pouch like that?

Dude, you’re rich. You’re famous. You just won the Euros. Have a little self-respect.

And finally, Ronaldinho. This one actually breaks my heart a little. Because isn’t slobbery (which should be a real word) one of the signs of depression?

Honey, I know you’re sad because you’re out of shape and in lousy form and Barcelona won’t let you go to the Olympics. But put on a suit. We’ll all feel better.


And there you have it. My once-a-year fashion post. Won’t happen again till next July.

And now I feel a desperate need to take a long, hot shower to cleanse my brain and soul so I can start thinking about straightforward footy again.


Hat tips to these first responders for finding the photos:

Henry photo from Kickette.

Makelele photo from The Spoiler)

Ramos photo from Anna at This is Extra Time

Ronaldinho photo from Who Ate All the Pies.



The Offside Soccer ForumsTeam/International ResultsBet on Soccer games Buy Soccer TicketsTravel to soccer games


Category Category: World Football

Subscribe
 

rss_icon The Offside RSS Feeds

Print
Print article
Share
del.icio.us:Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion:  Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho digg:Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion:  Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho reddit:Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion:  Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho fark:Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion:  Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho Y!:Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion:  Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho stumbleupon:Wanted for Crimes Against Fashion:  Henry, Makelele, Ramos, Ronaldinho

Comments  

  • Louise |  July 10th, 2008 at 10:06 am

    cornercorner

    Here here, Laurie! When I got a Barbie (Peaches and Cream Barbie to be exact) and a Barbie Corvette for Christmas one year at age 7, I put Hans Solo in the driver’s seat next to Princess Leah and stuck Barbie (with the ruffles ripped off her dress) in the back with Luke. Today I only regret that Leah didn’t drive.

    Posted from United States United States

    cornercorner
  • bluemeanies |  July 10th, 2008 at 10:49 am

    cornercorner

    You actually got the barbie car- we always used Mom’s shoes and the heels were the hot cars and the beaters tended to be tennis shoes (and Hiking boots as SUV’s). It actually makes me depressed about what type of cars some of my shoe would be.

    Posted from United States United States

    cornercorner
  • adam |  July 10th, 2008 at 11:32 am

    cornercorner

    i dont quite see whats wrong with makelele’s get up…he seems pretty casual and well within the law to me..

    Posted from United States

    cornercorner
  • Laurie |  July 10th, 2008 at 11:47 am

    cornercorner

    Okay, Adam, maybe that one’s just a misdemeanor. But coming on the heels of the Henry one…

    To quote The Spoiler (link is in the post)

    Well, The Spoiler might be a big fat meat and potatoes square, but even so, we can still tell when some strange fashion tips have been exchanging hands. First Thierry Henry was spotted striding around New York City wearing a t-shirt with a big honking tie emblazoned on it, and now his great pal Claude “getting a bit old for football” Makelele has followed suit – his fashionable garment, however, features not a tie, but a solitary pair of gentleman’s spectacles.

    What next? Ribery wearing a picture of the boxer shorts he’s not wearing?

    Posted from United States United States

    cornercorner
  • Babyshoes |  July 10th, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    cornercorner

    I think Makelele’s shirt is pretty cool, myself.

    Henry’s, not so much.

    Posted from United States United States

    cornercorner
  • lefutur |  July 10th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    cornercorner

    i actually see quite a few of those tie shirts in NYC and i think they’re meant to be ironic. like “yeah i’m a wall street mogol, i wear a tie”. its new york…you cant over think it.

    Posted from United States

    cornercorner
  • Michel-olivier |  July 10th, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    cornercorner

    ronaldinho is becoming maradona. that’s what happen when you win everything, you gain weight.

    Posted from United States United States

    cornercorner
  • Bonnie |  July 10th, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    cornercorner

    I love Titi’s tie-shirt, I think he pulls it off well with the shoes.

    However, Sergio Ramos – ouch. I’m a huge fan of the man, but I think this is one case where I don’t feel bad about speaking against him.

    Posted from Canada Canada

    cornercorner
  • Brigitte Rozario |  July 10th, 2008 at 7:21 pm

    cornercorner

    Amusing. But who cares how bad their fashion sense is as long as they can play football.

    Posted from Australia Australia

    cornercorner
  • Jack |  July 10th, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    cornercorner

    How in the hell are you going to call out Maks for riding on some limited Nikes? Henry and his wack ass Supras fine, but Maks & limiteds? Please.

    Posted from United States

    cornercorner
  • Jeff |  July 10th, 2008 at 10:21 pm

    cornercorner

    Ronnie looks like a midget with the camera angle and the long shorts.

    Posted from United States

    cornercorner
  • omar |  July 11th, 2008 at 2:15 am

    cornercorner

    hahah this was hilarious

    Posted from United States

    cornercorner
  • sandrahn |  July 11th, 2008 at 11:44 am

    cornercorner

    Dinho, how could you? You’re already embarrassing us Brazilians for other reasons, now THIS!

    Posted from United States United States

    cornercorner

Comments are closed


World Cup 2010 News
Offside RSS Feeds

Search The Offside


 

rounded_corners









Categories


rounded_corners

Send Your Tips!

Found a great story, photo or video that's perfect for The Offside?
Email tips[at]theoffside[dot]com

Related Links


Write for The Offside

LATEST COMMENTS


Archives