Wayne Rooney is the Answer to the World’s Energy Crisis

Scientists have all the fun. When they aren’t studying the testosterone of football players or the excitement of soccer or the biases of referees or how to succeed at taking penalty kicks, they are finding other ways to spend hours watching football in the name of “science”. The latest research comes from the UK where researches have determined that Wayne Rooney generates enough energy during a match to heat 16 cups of tea.

David James, who hopefully he doesn’t share a hairdresser with his namesake, is a researcher with Sheffield Hallam University’s Centre for Sports Exercise Sciences. His research:

…calculated the 21-year-old Manchester United and England striker produced 6,700 kiloJoules of energy, equivalent to 1.86 kilowatt/hours of electricity.

This, he said, was also enough to light an average house for 90 minutes – the length of an average match – or run a standard television for six and a half hours.

This is very reassuring. Once all of the oil in the world runs out we’ll simply hire football players to run around and we’ll never have to miss a second of reality television. Even better, let’s encourage Rooney to get into more bar fights. If he generates that much energy while playing against Watford, he must be like a mini nuclear reactor when he is punching someone’s lights out.

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Category: English Premier League, World Football