Weekend Watch: More Football. MORE!

At the end of a long, exhausting week of European football, there’s nothing better than settling down on the couch for some equally stressful domestic matches, right?

What we all really need are those giant, mobile-home sized satellite dishes. If they don’t suck you into their sinister worlds, I have it on good authority that they allow you to see every channel on earth at the same time. If we had those, we wouldn’t have to deal with things like awful streams, or trying to follow matches via BBC text service.

Saturday

Milan v Juventus: Even people won’t know nothing about Italian football know these two teams. Juve are second in the league with one loss and are riding an absolutely explosion last weekend, during which they beat Palermo 5-0. Milan, as they do, are struggling in Serie A, but are also always on the verge of a massive goal explosion themselves. Could be fantastic. (Or, a huge disappointment.)

Espanyol v Barcelona: The Barcelona derby is always intense, but with the teams fourth and third respectively, it’s gonna be a brawl.

Benfica v Porto: It’s not a local derby, but that doesn’t mean Benfica and Porto don’t hate one another. Neither team has lost in the Liga this season, and if Benfica can take all three points, they’ll be just one behind Porto at the top of the table. And, as a special bonus, you’ll get to see Rui Costa AND Ricardo Quaresma at the same time!

Neuchâtel Xamax v Grasshoppers: In the Swiss League, it’s sort of the top three, and then everyone else — these two are among the everyone else. Neuchâtel Xamax won promotion last season under the guidance of chairman “Sylvio Bernasconi.” Seriously. Could that be a more obvious pseudonym?!

Sunday

Fiorentina v Inter: Apart from the fact that these are my two favorite teams (and I will therefore spend the match hiding my head under the couch cushions), they’ve also been two of the best in Italy this season. Inter haven’t yet lost and are top of the table, while the Viola lost for the first time two weeks ago, and are only four points behind the leaders. Fingers crossed it won’t be slow and boring because both teams are tired and injured and wouldn’t too much mind a scoreless draw.

Veria v Ergotelis: A basement battle in the Greek Super League between teams with two wins and 11 points between them heading into Week 10. Yikes. Veria finished third in the second division last year to earn promotion to the big time — they play in a stadium with a capacity under 7500. Go, little guys.

América v Nacional: Top of the table clash in Colombia, bitches.

And, finally, looking ahead to Wednesday

Newcastle v Arsenal: Or, if you prefer, Rubbish v Magic. Hide the children, this is gonna be ugly. (And I like Newcastle.)

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Category: World Football