What Really Goes On In Milan?

Swiped this photo from “Ivanna” over on the HABs blog. (Ladies, click at will. Gentlemen, don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

Ivanna thought there was somthing just a little…off about this photo. I agree. And after much Offside research, I have uncovered the true story. (I swear.)

Seems that Andrea Pirlo was struck temporarily blind and needed to use his Braille skills to get reoriented. Here’s how it went:

Pirlo: “Ah…yes… I cannot see it, but I think this is… This is… Wait, I’ve got it! It’s a chest! A taut…muscular…manly…well–waxed chest. With… Ah, yes! Just a tiny bit of nipple protrusion right…here.”

Pippo: “Geez, Andrea, stop hogging it!”

Becks: “It’s so good to be back in Europe! Landon never fondled my chest. Not even once.”

Pato: “Hey, guys! Mom says she thinks I might be old enough to shave now! And I think my voice is changing, too!”

Maldini: “Girly-men! All of you! How long before I can retire?”

~~*~~

Yup. Pretty sure that’s exactly how it went.

(I know, I know. Even I don’t know what gets into me sometimes. And the scariest part? They give me an international platform to write this stuff.)

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Category: World Football