When Will People Learn Not to F*ck With Dennis Wise?

A groups of kids in Leeds were quietly celebrating New Year’s by throwing rocks at cars when one of them got the surprise of his life: Dennis Wise got out of one of the cars and, despite the fact that it was 1am and more than a little dark, chased the punk down the street. According to some reports, Wise actually caught the 13-year-old and tried to administer a citizen’s arrest, but the little weasel escaped. Not only that, but he ran home and WHINED TO DADDY that a man had been mean to him. So much for being scared straight.

Wise’s young kids were in the car, along with his “heavily pregnant” wife, so it’s understandable — him being Dennis Wise and all — that he may have lost it a bit when rocks flew in out of nowhere. Wise was, the papers assure us, very shaken by the event, as was the Poor Thrower of Rocks. We know about the latter because the kid’s father actually went to the cops and filed a complaint about the crazy man who chased and, allegedly, assaulted his poor son. (No word on how he explained the out-roaming-the-streets-at-1am thing, or whether the stone-throwing happened to come up.)

Both Wise and the kid (and his dad, of course) have been questioned by West Yorkshire police and, while no charges have yet been filed, the investigation is described as “ongoing,” so there’s still a chance of something even more absurd happening. Meanwhile, Wise gets back to the nonviolent drawing board, trying to avoid a(nother) Leeds collapse.

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