XI Reasons Why Football Is Better Than Football
By: chris | February 3rd, 2008
Today is one of the fews days throughout the year where football falls second to American football on the global scene. In fact, it may be the only day. This year footy falls to a very distant second due to my hometown New England Patriots making an assault on perfection. However, since many would rather take in a Champions League Final than the Super Bowl, I figured I’d give my XI reasons as to why football is better than (American) football.
I. Once every four years, someone can actually call themselves World Champions.
II. Athletes in AF play 60 minutes which are interrupted after each 5-10 second burst with up to a 40 second rest and lengthy commercial breaks - yet some still find the need to hook themselves up to a tank of oxygen during the game. If you need oxygen mid-game in football, your ass is cut. Or sent on loan to Sao Paolo.
III. You can’t be 375lbs and play football unless your name is Adriano. (Alright, we’re done with the Adriano jokes.)
IV. You don’t have to worry about getting into a sweaty manpile and having someone grab your junk unless you’ve just scored a goal. At which point it’s totally cool.
V. The Miami Dolphins can’t be relegated and Derby County can.
VI. The longest kick in NFL history is 63 yards. Diego’s range extends to 63 metres. Eat it.
VII. No one outside of NY cares when the Giants play the Jets, but everyone cares when United plays Citeh, Celtic plays Rangers or Roma plays Lazio.
VIII. WAGs are celebrated, not discriminated. (Can I get an Amen?)
IX. Tiki Barber is nowhere to be found.
X. A passing percentage of 65% in football gets you benched, it doesn’t get you a fat contract and win you awards.
XI. You don’t get a 15 yard penalty or a fine for a great celebration - unless you’re Robbie Fowler. And then it only cements your legend.
Now we’d love to hear some of yours.
Category: World Football
Tags: Adrian, Barber, Celtic, Citeh, Derby County, Dolphins, football, Fowler, NFL, Rangers, Roma, Super Bowl, United, World FootballSubscribe
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Comments
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Football is called football due to the main use of feet.
AMerican football only uses feet 10% of the time- a new name is neccessary!
Posted from
United States
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This could seem lame and somewhat a stretch, but I’ve always enjoyed that even Barça (a hold out on labeling) was at least sponsored by UNICEF.
btw - lol @ #III
Posted from
United States -
Scoring. A goal in football is a goal, regardless of distance and style. Six points is a bit generous for a pass or run into a goal (endzone) the width of the entire pitch, and three for a kick into a goal with no keeper isn’t too shabby either.
Posted from
United States -
Knowing next to nothing about American football, I find this the most hilarious introduction to it I could possibly have. Thank you!
Posted from
India -
I think the term “soccer” should be eliminated from this website. When I think of “soccer” I think of kids doing laps around a park district and eating oranges. When I think of “football” I think of the beautiful game. We won’t offend any American Football fans here.
Posted from
United States -
XII: When I-XI makes perfect sense to you and no sense to other Americans.
Posted from
United States -
American Football is apparently so exciting that 93 million tune into to watch commercials, the beautiful game does not even have commercials, eat it.
Posted from
United States -
KALAC!!!!!
Posted from
United States -
Sorry wrong blog…
Posted from
United States -
AF Requires 25 lb of padding and a helmet.
Football gives you a half inch thick piece of plastic on your shin.Posted from
United States -
chris and commenter Sammy - you guys inspired me. I don’t know how to do a trackback, but my response is over here:
http://bluedevilbrad.blogspot.com/2008/02/super-bowl-sunday-and-toboggans.htmlRe: #XI - according to a reader letter in this column, the NFL has even aired videos on its own website of the best touchdown celebrations, even though those celebrations were penalized during the game!
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=easterbrook/071121&campaign=rsssrch&source=gregg_easterbrookPosted from
United States -
I’ve taken a stand, I call American football “yardball”. Also, yardball totally sucks shit. (That’s reason twelve)
Posted from
Canada -
Just to point out, but not to belabor the point - American football, rugby, and football/soccer all evolved from the same damn game, y’ know.
Also, ’soccer’ is a British term by origin, not an American one. Derived from “asSOCiation football” and originally used to distinguish the sport from “league football” - which is now commonly called Rugby league.
So, there’s no need to bicker and argue over which sport is better - plenty of people enjoy each of them and a few even enjoy both.
Both sports have extraordinary athletes who can do things few other people on the planet can even hope to duplicate.
Let’s just leave it at that.
Posted from
United States -
jon; it’s not seriously trying to belittle football eh? it’s a joke.
Posted from
Canada -
The OP? Quite. Some of the commenters? Different beast.
Posted from
United States -
Not even going to get into this discussion because I just haven’t seen enough AF to comment. Just wanted to say, love that Diego goal! had to post it on my blog. Brilliant!
Posted from
Australia -
seriously though.
american football is the worst sport ever.
Posted from
United States -
One other reason. Sevilla’s 3rd place finish last year will have more lasting memory than a perfect season in the NFL.
Posted from
United States -
I’ve played both all my life and I love football more than american football, but I have to tell you.
Whoever says that you need 25 pounds of pads and in football you only wear 2 oz of plastic on your shin?
You need that 25 pounds of padding when you are led over the middle by your QB and absolutly annihilated by a cornerback you never even saw. Trust me, it’s happened to me a few times and I still get the chills thinking about it.
Posted from
United States -
the good thing is they dont really interfere with each other that much, schedule-wise. on Sunday’s most major European matches are over either well before or literally 5-10 minutes before the 1st NFL game starts.
Posted from
Canada -
Good joke. Soccer.com has a t-shirt with some of these and more on it. To Jon and Issa’s exchange. It is just a joke, for those of us here in the states trying to build the popularity of the sport, jokes like this can be counter productive sometimes. Nothing wrong with something like this in this forum, but resist the temptation to share these goodies with non-football fan Americans. (I know it is hard sometimes!)
Posted from
United States -
get this SHIT OFF!!! American football is far better. for the past years (i dont know how many exactly) 4 teams have been the only contenders for the premiership and i GUARANTEE for the next 5-10 years man u, chelsea, aresnal and liverpool will be the only winners of the premiership. REAL FOOTBALL uses a salary cap which levels the teams to a certain extent which meams u can go from a losing team to Superbowl champions in a year.
by the way SOCCER has a lot of racism and have to seperate the 2 fan sides, in REAL FOOTBALL the fans can sit beside whoever they like and never be trobled.
P.S if HANDBAG LOVER ronaldo met FOOTBALL GOD Brett Favre he would immediately fall over and start crying
Posted from
United States -
oh i almost forgot, the person who wrote about celtic v rangers being more important than a NFL rivilary is completly retarted because the whole rivilary is about catholic v protestant and dont lie to yourself because you know i am very much RIGHT!
Posted from
United States -
Not really American Football Fan… I mean come on. You just had a team who was given, a huge applause because they went 18 games unbeaten… sounds impressive, but in proper football… -coughs- the form that uses the feet. 18 games is not even half the season. Some teams play upwards of 60 games in a single season, and its 90 minutes pretty much none stop action… not 10 seconds and a break, for god knows how long.
As for the rivalries, hey Manchester United vs Liverpool, bigger then any NFL rivalry, you have lots all over the world. And Rangers vs Celtic yes it did start from religion, but its gone on to be the two biggest teams in scotland going against each other. So its alot more then that now. The fact is, Our version of football is huge all over the world, not just in our country. The day the American Football has a league in almost every country, then hey we’ll give you credit, but the fact is. If American Football is so good, why is it only really you play it. Its not for the sake of not trying to export it, because it gets rammed down our throats for the three months its on… its just not that big anywhere other then America. If we want something similar we just watch rugby, which doesnt have the padding… so, hey I’m glad you enjoy your version of football, but 90% of the world prefers our version. Just look at the leagues.
Posted from
United Kingdom
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